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Newsstand: January 7, 2009
Word is going around that a certain someone won’t run for mayor this year, which would leave a big gap in right-wing candidates. Late last night, Mondoville got briefly excited about a rumour that John Tory would give up on Toronto to take a senate seat. Now the Star is also reporting that Tory won’t run, citing only an anonymous source. Hmm, we say. Hmmm. [: Tory has issued a statement officially announcing he will not run for mayor in 2010.]
The NOW writer who enthusiastically but incorrectly outed Councillor Adam Giambrone (Ward 18, Davenport) sincerely regrets the error nothing but the fact that you are all such jerks. Enzo Di Matteo’s heartfelt apology consisted of a spilt-homo-milk joke followed by a diatribe blaming “predominantly conservative media” (including the Toronto Star) for drawing attention to his mistake—one that ten seconds’ worth of fact-checking would have prevented. Would have but did not. Which is all the Star‘s fault. Bastards.
Wee! Look at this! Look at this! Downtown Toronto is maybe going to get a humongous aquarium next to the CN Tower! City council will vote on the project next week. Our only misgiving is that the building isn’t a Daniel Libeskind project and won’t, therefore, give the impression that ROM-Crystalization is contagious. Renderings of the place look like the Science Centre being digested by a transparent Future Shop. And yes, believe it or not, it is named after that Ripley. But if it gets the go-ahead, there will be sharks, and it will be fantastic.
In the latest election news, Glenn Murray just got the Liberal blessing to run for George Smitherman’s still-warm seat in Queen’s Park. A byelection to replace Smitherman, who left the provincial cabinet to seek the much, much more exciting job of Toronto’s mayor, is set for February 4.
Now here’s a two-fer about Toronto’s mean streets: long after Toronto deliberately put unique, slightly too-wide tracks on its streetcar system (ostensibly to prevent steam locomotives from using our tracks), it’s finally switching to a standard size for its new tracks, one that won’t require customized streetcars. That being said, while our roads are mending their ways, you will just have to accept that occasionally, in life, you will be electrocuted by metal plates in the sidewalk. That’s just how it is. Move on.
And if you’ve already stolen a minivan and hit a pedestrian, and you’re thinking of making it a hit-and-run, why not hop out and mug your victim before you leave? It only takes a minute, and then nobody can say you weren’t thorough. And that attention to detail, my friends, is just one gleaming facet of our gem of a city. Carry on.