Newsstand: January 12, 2010
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Newsstand: January 12, 2010

This week, it’s the city’s turn to be the reason why we can’t have nice things. The Post has a very insightful article about how the only thing those stupid plastic signs around Grenadier Pond in High Park are for (the ones that say, “Danger. Ice unsafe. Keep off. Municipal Code #608”) is to effectively kill our collective buzz. It has nothing to do with the concept of covering their asses in the event that someone falls through because (besides the fact that there are actual rinks in Toronto) according to their squaresville The Frozen Open Bodies of Water Policy, “pond ice is unpredictable and never truly safe.” Whatever, losers. Like we’re going to call 311 when hypothermia sets in and we’re far from shore.
Speaking of municipal bureaucracy (like that ever happens), the kids in the Hall are looking to sell off one of our few nice things. According to an anonymous source (or, in this case, today’s Globe), the city is quietly weighing the pros and cons of selling off its 43% share in Enwave Energy Corporation, which is known for reducing peak demand for electricity by cooling downtown buildings with water from Lake Ontario. “The city has been reluctant to develop a comprehensive strategy to make recommendations for the selling of assets,” said Councillor Denzil Minnan-Wong (Ward 34, Don Valley East), who wanted to sell Toronto Hydro assets in order to repair city rinks and swimming pools. “You can’t just start putting stuff up on eBay.” Well, of course you can’t, Denzil. You need a merchant account first. But that’s not such a bad idea…some people will buy anything.
Though we’re not quite sure what this has to do with City Hall, Eye has announced that, on June 19, Broken Social Scene will present Pavement and Band of Horses for the 2010 Toronto Island Concert. Tickets go on sale on January 22 (not this Friday, but next Friday) at the Horseshoe, Soundscapes, Rotate This, and Ticketmaster; the $57.50 includes ferry. Hey, it’s like reading Urban Planner, only months in advance!
And finally, in news that not only happened two days ago but also didn’t happen in Toronto, a Southwold man was mauled to death by his pet tiger. And because it happened two days ago, there’s nothing that can be written here that’s more hilarious and witty (and likely making allusions to golf pros and breakfast cereal) about the horrific tragedy that hasn’t been posted elsewhere.

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