news
Newsstand: November 3, 2009
Shall we begin today’s Newsstand in the gutter? (Were you expecting anything less?) Yesterday, the Executive Committee approved the application of the savings gleaned from this summer’s city strike to offset a 2% rate hike in our garbage fees. Sounds good, right? Well, the mayor doesn’t think so. “I thought they were taking a short-term gain for long-term pain,” he lamented. “I thought cancelling the rate increase this year means that the increase next year will have to be over 4%.” Councillor Pam McConnell, on the other hand, is lamenting the fact that the green-bin program will now take longer to implement, citing “pent up desire on behalf of residents…to be able to participate.” And with that quote, you know in what direction today’s news is going to go…
When is a grain silo just a grain silo? When it’s allowed to remain erect, of course! Wait…did that sound wrong? Well, kids, it’s true: despite abandoned plans to turn the Canadian Malting silos site into a museum, a new plan by the city to preserve heritage sites will be combined with private funding to avoid tearing down the silos to create a “symbolic outline” (which, unfortunately, would have been anything but Freudian). Shocker of shockers, our good friend Councillor Doug Holyday has something to say about the whole thing. “It is nice to preserve things but you can’t preserve everything,” he said. “This is valuable property we should be doing something about.” You know what, though? He’s right. Maybe we should cut off the top halves of the outer two silos, leaving the middle one intact, and name it in his honour.
Speaking of phallic symbols, CP24 is launching its own broadcast euphemism with On the Rocket, a monthly show where TTC Chair Adam Giambrone will “discuss everything from daily transit operations to improvements and plans for the future.” Ooh, baby. What’s even better is that the station promises that “viewers are invited to get on and off for a free ride” during the show. Hold on. A free ride on Giambrone’s rocket? Only once a month? Must…not… go…there…
And finally, here’s another one for the shocker files: a university paper has been forced to shut down because it spent too much money on booze and parties. An even bigger shocker is the fact that we’re choosing not to make a puerile joke about the fact that the group behind the decision to halt The Gargoyle‘s iniquitous splurges is called UC Lit. We’ll leave that one up to you. Own it. Love it. It’s all yours, baby.
This article originally stated that it was City Council dealing with the garbage fees yesterday; in fact, it was the Executive Committee.