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Newsstand: November 17, 2009
Hey, remember when we mentioned that Toronto bylaw enforcement officers were gearing up to crack down on motorists who leave their cars idling for more than three minutes every hour? Well, Toronto’s board of health is attempting to lobby a reduction of that amount of time from three minutes to one minute. And, shocker of shockers, someone on council isn’t happy about it. “It’s totally unreasonable,” fumed Ward 29 Councillor Case Ootes (likely stamping his foot petulantly). “The public is tired of all this meddling and I am not sure what it achieves.” Well, perhaps if he reads the Globe (or our September 22 edition of Newsstand, for chrissakes), he would see that “it will better protect air quality and it reduces the amount of fuel wasted,” according to Monica Campbell, manager of the environmental protection office of Toronto Public Health. “It has direct health benefits.” Wait a second…he’s not one of those d-bags who parks his Hummer outside the Food Depot at Dupont and Davenport and blocks the right-turn lane with the engine gunning, is he? Hm.
Speaking of health and bureaucracy, Toronto Public Health is passing the A La Cart street food vending project torch to the city’s economic development department. “The reason for having a pilot project is because you expect glitches. Otherwise, you’d just go full steam ahead,” said health board Chairman John Filion. “The glitches you’re going to get are somewhat unpredictable. You only find out what they are by giving it a go.” And by then giving your broken toy to someone else to play with, apparently.
Hey, wanna hear something about Adam Giambrone that doesn’t have to do with the TTC? According to the Sun, “Residents of a Bloor-Lansdowne neighbourhood who don’t want a dead-end street converted into parkland are accusing Councillor Adam Giambrone of steamrolling over their protests and building the green space anyway.” A park? Really? Damn you, Giambrone! But wait—apparently, he was as surprised as everyone else about the whole thing! “I’m generally supportive of greening and community-building initiatives like this,” he responded via email, “but was surprised to learn that transportation staff had started the work before all the consultation was finished.” Hm. Perhaps the question of what magical elves sent this nefarious greening train in motion is not nearly as much an issue as when the hell did people start to think it was grammatically correct to use the word “green” as a verb (let alone a gerund!).
And finally, didja think we could give a little love to the city’s sexiest rocket head without getting our hands all over the rocket itself? Aw, muffin. Here ya go: Perhaps in response to yesterday’s Newsstand urging riders to embark on a mad token-hoarding rampage for perhaps the most unsanitary-sounding bath evah, everyone’s gone all nuts and started to wait in huge queues at stations to pay current market prices for bulk tokens. “A line like this, for five tokens? Come on,” pouted commuter David Cutler with what can only be described as incisive wit. Well, David, we hope you’re reading today’s Newsstand, because do we ever have a pro tip for you: Subway stations aren’t the only places where you can buy tokens. It’s true! A quick phone call to the nearest Metro store confirmed that they, too, deal in the precious tokens (you might want to call ahead for availability—word travels fast). And if you happen go to the one at College Park, tell ’em Lori Dance sent ya.