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Newsstand: October 30, 2009
Remember when we reported earlier this month that the intrepid Joe Pantalone was on the case to help save the Annex from itself? Well, he failed, and now Ici is getting its liquor licence after all. “It’s fantastic—it finally gives this incredible business the ability to open,” said area resident John Bowker. “Everybody seems just ecstatic.” Ecstatic to start boozing it up all over the place, John? That Ontario pinot grigio you’re sucking back with your Melba of Maritime lobster is one daintily held pinky finger away from complete and utter iniquity. Sheesh. Well, there goes the neighbourhood…
You know we just love to talk about the all-boys’-school thing, and today is no exception. Last night, the TDSB voted to hear more about Director Chris Spence’s vision for sexually segregated education. “Today’s kids really want to be creative,” Spence opined. “They can be a filmmaker on YouTube, a recording artist on Second Life, and an opinion leader on the blogs. And yet when they walk through our door, they have to power down.” Though this is true, the fact remains that…wait, did you just say that these kids are playing Second Life? Dude, there’s your first hurdle right there. That game’s even too creepy for thirty-five-year-olds.
Let’s get our horns out and start tooting, kids…we’re number one! And five! And six! And nine! And ten! Yes, it’s true: Steeles Avenue has been voted Ontario’s worst road, with Finch, Dufferin, Lawrence, and St. Clair rounding out the rest of Toronto’s top-ten darlings. Whatdowewinwhhatdowewinwhatdowewin? More promises to fix these craptastic failways? Or will Toronto go for the hat trick next year? Dare a girl dream?
Finally, and only because tomorrow’s Halloween, we bring you a scary story from out of the city: yet another foot has washed up on the shores of British Columbia. This is the seventh find in two years, and all of the feet discovered have been in running shoes. Woooooooooooooo. And with that noise, it’s time to get the old costume out of the old closet and get some spooky business started. Eat lots of candy and scare lots of children tomorrow, kids! More so than usual, that is.