“I was assaulted by Will.I.Am of the Black Eyed Peas and his security guards. I am bleeding. Please, I need to file a police report. No joke.”
So tweeted infamous gossip blogger Perez HIlton from the SoHo Metropolitan Hotel last night, following both his and the Black Eyed Peas’ appearances at the Much Music Video Awards. Though Hilton sent the message via his Sidekick, and his hotel likely had operational telephones, he asked his 1,031,076 Twitter followers to call the police for him—and apparently some did, spurring a subsequent message: “The Toronto police are here now. Thank you. Please stop calling them.” (Hilton said later that he did call the police himself, but they weren’t showing up.)
The first word from Will.i.am came via a text message to a friend, who posted it online: “What the hell would I be doing sockin parez hilton???” The Black Eyed Peas frontman then created a video explaining his side of the story, which revealed how the fracas was started when Fergie approached Hilton at an MMVA afterparty at Ultra and asked him why he was giving the Peas a hard time on his site.
It should be noted at this point that the world’s children are starving and there still is no cure for cancer.
Anyway, the incident allegedly escalated later during the Universal Music afterparty at Cobra, when Will.i.am approached Hilton directly and challenged him for hurting Fergie’s feelings and being disrespectful to the group. According to Will, as the conversation was ending, Hilton said, “You’re a faggot, Will.i.am!” And since Hilton isn’t the only one whose fans will gleefully do his bidding, the alleged assault then happened at the hands of a frenzied fan, who doled out a Boom Boom Pow to Perez.
Hilton, who tweeted into the early morning, stated that it was Will.i.am’s security guard who laid the smackdown. “I just feel so empty right now,” said Hilton, before turning in to “nap for a bit.”
So while Perez sleeps off the brown bottle flu and the Toronto Police spring into action, let this be a lesson to you kids: the next time you have a disagreement with a celebrity and you end up assaulted, don’t take the law into your own hands—take it to the internet.
Images via the respective he-said, he-said videos.