Our Love Is Like A Red Red Rosie
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Our Love Is Like A Red Red Rosie

Photo of an ambivalent duplex on Palmerston Avenue by moon angel from the Torontoist Flickr Pool.

Good fences make good neighbours; Rosie DiManno, not so much.
On May 18, our favourite Star columnist devoted six hundred words to the “noisy, juddering” sex that her female neighbour—the “sex screecher”—has. The article is exactly as good of a read as you’d expect. (“Some cheek-by-jowl neighbours, their right to peaceful enjoyment of domicile infringed, are not so roll-with-the-thrusts sanguine.” That sort of thing.) The column ended with DiManno hoping that her “neighbour subscribes to the Star and reads this.” Her neighbour didn’t, but her neighbour’s parents did.
On Wednesday morning, a woman named Caroline phoned into the Edge 102’s Dean Blundell Show, and outed herself as the subject of the article, which she’d realized after her panicked parents called her to double-check just which journalist she lived next door to. While the hosts tried to read DiManno’s article—one describing the writing as being “for Mensa people on crack”—the screecher defended her love life. “You know what?” she said, “I just really enjoy sex, and whatever…that’s not my problem.” (The audio of the call is just below.)

For the woman’s trouble, the Dean Blundell Show awarded her movie passes to Land of the Lost and tickets to Warped Tour and Edge Fest, surely small consolation for Caroline, whose boyfriend, she explained, is now “too freaked out to have sex” at her place. We don’t exactly blame him.
Thanks to reader Michael Paris for the tip and the audio.