Televisualist: Heli-Logging, Ignatieff Slogging
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Televisualist: Heli-Logging, Ignatieff Slogging

Each week, Torontoist examines the upcoming TV listings and makes note of programs that are entertaining, informative, and of quality. Or, alternately, none of those. The result: Televisualist.
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Monday

Bones airs at its usual time, which is “whenever the hell Fox feels like airing Bones.” The network has been airing the show whenever they can squeeze it in around American Idol, which is experiencing a resurgence thanks to everybody wondering if Adam Lambert is gay or just an attention whore. (Answer: yes.) Anyway, Televisualist will make a bold prediction and state that on this week’s episodes (there’s another one on Thursday), Booth and Brennan will not do it. (Global, 8 p.m.)
In Good Company didn’t make much of a splash when it came out in 2004, possibly because it’s not an easy sell. “There’s this young guy, he’s kind of an asshole, treats this older guy at work like crap, but then his girlfriend dumps him and he has a breakdown and starts dating the older guy’s daughter, and it turns out that the older guy was right all along in the end.” You would be forgiven for saying, “wait, what?” But it has a bunch of good performances from Topher Grace, Dennis Quaid, and Scarlett Johansson, and the story’s actually pretty compelling in its off-kilter way. (Peachtree, 9 p.m.)

Tuesday

ABC apparently thinks The Unusuals needs more exposure, so this week they are pulling a Bones and airing it twice, both tonight and at its usual time Wednesdays after Lost. And honestly? Although Cupid getting hosed isn’t great, The Unusuals is a pretty clever take on the cop-show formula, going for an entertaining dramedy feel that’s a bit noteworthy for the genre. Plus, great cast. Jeremy Renner, Harold Perrineau, and Adam Goldberg all being funny and cool in one show? That’s a good deal. Even Amber Tamblyn, looking terribly out of place, doesn’t really ruin things because her character is actually supposed to look out of place. So if you haven’t watched it yet, it is worth a look. (ABC, 10 p.m.)
Frontline airs a two-hour special on how industrial and agricultural waste, combined with suburban development, is destroying the ecological viability of Puget Sound and the Chesapeake Bay. Which is relevant to people outside of Massachusetts because it’s not like this same sort of thing isn’t happening everywhere else along the First World’s coastlines, you see. (PBS, 9 p.m.)

Wednesday

Scrubs has had a bit of a renaissance in its final season…well, wait, to be honest we’re not sure if it’s the final season or not, because ABC is making noise about a sort of Scrubs: The Next Generation next year, with an all-new cast and the same general premise. Admittedly, this seems extremely unlikely (“the same struggling franchise, with none of the reasons its longtime fans care!”), but stupider things have happened on network television. Anyway, this last season of Scrubs has been pretty decent and tonight’s third-last episode sets up the final story arcs that will send J.D. and Turk and Dr. Cox a-packin’. (City, 8 p.m.)
Lost takes a week off and in its place ABC airs a recap special! You know what I think will bring new viewers to Lost in its fifth season? A recap special. Because it’s easy to explain everything about this show in one lousy recap special! (ABC, 9 p.m.)

Thursday

So this season of Survivor is turning out to be really depressing since the obvious villains of this season are winning. The man who calls himself “Coach” (because he is supposedly a life coach) is quite possibly the biggest bullshitter in the history of Survivor, and not in the fun “he’s a crafty competitor” way but in the “he wants everyone to believe he lived an Indiana Jones sort of life before coming on Survivor so he can make a career being himself” sort of way. Coach is a preening, pompous asshole, and what’s worse is that he’s allied with the even more abhorrent (but unfortunately much smarter) Tyson, who actively and obviously enjoys being mean and nasty to other people. What is truly unbelievable, though, is that the rest of the tribe both recognizes that Tyson and Coach are horrible people and doesn’t do anything about it. Memo to other people: there are two of them and six of you and this show is about voting people out. Do the math, dumbasses. (Global, 8 p.m.)
The Simpsons rerun of the week: “Homie The Clown,” wherein Homer goes to Krusty’s Klown Kollege and becomes a Krusty substitute. “These are speed holes. They make the car go faster.” (CFMT, 7:30 p.m.)

Friday

Prison Break returns! Well, at this point the show is just kind of limping to a finish, mostly because they broke out of the second prison in season three and this fourth and final season has just been about, you know, conspiracies and shadowy government plots and all that sort of thing, and there have barely been any breaking, much less prisons. Which is kind of like what would happen if 24 suddenly only had twelve hours in it. You would be all “what the hell? This show was supposed to have twenty-four hours in it!” and you would stop watching. Which is why Prison Break’s ratings have tanked. Moral: honesty in show titles is important. (Global, 8 p.m.)
Allan Gregg In Conversation With…Michael Ignatieff. Under/over for the number of times Ignatieff will contradict himself during the interview: seven. Under/over for the number of times I will want to punch him in the face: thirteen. (TVO, 10 p.m.)
Wait, there’s an actual show called Heli-Loggers? That doesn’t sound like a show, that sounds like an episode of a series about crazy-ass jobs. Then again, they made multiple seasons of Ice Road Truckers, and you’d think that after one or two episodes of watching guys drive on ice roads you’d get the idea, and yet it’s sustained multiple seasons anyway. So I guess the question this show asks is “why haven’t you found a profession that’s both obscure and visually exciting and made a documentary series about it? Do you not like money?” Which is why Televisualist is proud to announce it has sold Shark Police, the series about Samoan policemen who ride sharks and fight crime on sharks, to TLC for next season. (Discovery Channel, 8 p.m.)
CORRECTION: Puget Sound and Chesapeake Bay are of course not in Massachusetts, as pointed out in comments. However, this is only because they are angry at the Kennedys.

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