Would The Real Toronto Poo Jay Please Stand Up?

By Karen Aagaard

Photo courtesy of Hot Chicks with Douchebags.

Watch out, Hot Chicks, there’s a new Douchebag [sic] in town. According to L.A.’s aptly named Hot Chicks with Douchebags, Toronto’s unsung d-bag, “Toronto Poo Jay,” has finally made a name for himself.
… Or has he? According to “Anonymous,” Toronto Poo Jay may not, in fact, call Toronto “home”: “[T]here are no [C]anadian douchebags,” he writes; “That guy must be a tourist.” Seconding Anonymous’s suspicion, Troy the Tempest claims that TPJ’s name is actually “Nick.” And the Hot Chick’s name is Janet. And—wait for it—that they both live in Livonia, Michigan (“… te [sic] state shaped like a mitt”).
Truth be told, we don’t really care if TPJ’s from Toronto or not; we’re going to fete Toronto’s grand d-bag debut all the same. Should we create a cake in our resident douchebag’s likeness? Should we send a fruit basket to a certain suburb that’s “a little north, a little nicer” for (conceivably) lending us TPJ for the day? Or should we simply let Dimitri and Pavel know that Toronto’s unholy trinity of pick-up artists is now, quite possibly, complete—and let them foot the bill for the party?