Televisualist: It Is Hallo-week!
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Televisualist: It Is Hallo-week!

Each week, Torontoist examines the upcoming TV listings and makes note of programs that are entertaining, informative, and of quality. Or, alternately, none of those. The result: Televisualist.
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Monday

New The Border tonight, wherein an ecoterrorist sabotages an Alberta pumping station. Presumably the storytelling will be conflicted because the ecoterrorist will, despite his atrocious methods, actually have something resembling a point. Kind of like Magneto, except minus the mutants and the magnetism. Also nobody on The Border has adamantium claws. Memo to CBC: more adamantium claws. (9 p.m.)
An American Werewolf In Paris is terrible, even if it does star Julie Delpy as a hot, frequently nearly naked werewolf chick. See how bad it is? Nearly naked Julie Delpy and it’s still completely bad. That, my friends, is one really, really terrible goddamned movie. Especially terrible: the crappy CGI werewolves. (Peachtree, 8 p.m.)

Tuesday

It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown! Anybody who says this special is dated needs to be slapped across the face really hard. It is timeless and beautiful, and if you disagree you are wrong and bad, and that is just how it is. Sorry, but Televisualist did not make up the rules. (ABC, 8 p.m.)
TVO airs the final episode in the first season of East West 101, the Australian cop show about a Muslim police detective in Sydney. Maybe it’s a bit late to mention this, but East West 101 is really very good, not least because it doesn’t feel the need to make its Muslim characters auto-cuddly nor auto-villainous; they’re just people like any others, and that’s what makes the show work. (9 p.m.)

Wednesday

The debates are over, but Barack Obama still has a lot of money handy, so his campaign has bought a full half-hour of airtime on NBC, CBS, Fox, and BET to deliver a “political message.” Worst-case scenario: it’s a half-hour of Will.I.Am “music videos” set to Obama speeches. Best case scenario: it’s like those infomercials Ross Perot ran in 1992, with lots of charts and graphs and things. (8 p.m.)
The Simpsons rerun of the week: “Treehouse of Horror XIII,” most notable for the first vignette with the million Homer clones. The other two bits (an Island of Dr. Moreau homage and the return of zombie Billy the Kid and gang) are only average, but that first bit is truly inspired. (Comedy Network, 9 p.m.)

Thursday

30 Rock is back! Yes! Featuring Megan Mullally (still hot, incidentally) as an adoption services agent investigating Liz Lemon to see how bad a mother Liz would be. Also, Jack regains his position of power at GE, Tracy refuses to share the proceeds of his porno video game, and Frank has many hats that say “Horny.” (NBC, 8:30 p.m.)
Televisualist does not watch Supernatural particularly, although we know that a good many of the young lady sort do like them some Jared Padalecki. That having been said, this week’s episode is titled “It’s The Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester,” and if Supernatural has the Winchester boys fight a Halloween pumpkin demon, well, maybe we’ll start watching this show regularly. You have to reward shows that know what to do. (SunTV, 9 p.m.)

Friday

Addams Family Values is the 1993 sequel to the original Addams Family movie, and although it flopped in theatres, its failure was undeserved; this film takes the dark macabre comedy of the original Addams flick and ups it even further, with a crazy turn by the always-awesome Joan Cusack that particularly deserves legendary status. Also: Thing. (YTV, 7 p.m.)
Space has a “Ghost Hunters Live” thing that looks like it might end up being extremely bad or extremely fake-ish or quite possibly both, as the Ghost Hunters team goes to Fort Delaware (which, one would guess, has ghosts or something) LIVE on Halloween night. Oh boy! Seven hours of people tramping around through the dark and saying “did you hear that?” I know I can’t wait! (7 p.m.)
Finally: Family Channel has Ghostbusters and Ghostbusters II back-to-back for the best Halloween movie montage of the night. “Back off, man. I’m a scientist.” (9 p.m. and 10:45 p.m. respectively)

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