Torontoist's 2008 Federal Election Liveblog
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Torontoist’s 2008 Federal Election Liveblog

Photo of Stephen Harper voting today from the AP.
All things considered, election night went mostly as predicted: on the back of a fading Liberal party, Stephen Harper and the Conservatives won a strong minority government, and the NDP saw its popularity pick up but not skyrocket. In Toronto, though, Liberals still stood strong, and—save for a few close races—the city is once again coated in red.
For five hours, as polls poured in, Torontoist contributors Christopher Bird, Hamutal Dotan, Jerad Gallinger, and David Topping hunkered down in a downtown apartment and liveblogged the election results, with an assist from remotely-connected Jamie Bradburn. Before our coverage began, we wrote that our post was “a liveblog we anticipate being the greatest liveblog in the history of this country, if not the whole entire universe; our goal is that it’ll be thoroughly engaging, interesting, readable, and enjoyable. Or, failing that, at the very least better than E!’s coverage.” Unfortunately for us, E! was just using Global’s coverage, but we were—as far as we can tell—the first and only news organization to call the election for Barack Obama, so we’re sure that counts for something.
Torontoist’s liveblog from election night 2008 follows below—with key moments and our favourite updates highlighted for maximum skimability if you’re joining us after the whole thing has wrapped up.

Latest updates are posted on top, signed with the author’s initials.


1:15 a.m.—And we’re done. Thanks for hanging out with us. Our favourite updates, and some key moments, are highlighted below, for your skimming pleasure. Tune in to Torontoist tomorrow for our wrap-up election coverage.
1:13 a.m.—The CBC crew bursts out laughing when Peter Mansbridge admits he has no idea what Rex Murphy is talking about when Rex uses the term “elegiac.” (JB)

1:11 a.m.—Fringe update: the race for the bottom in 416 has shifted east to Toronto-Danforth, where the Canadian Action Party’s Bahman Yazdanfar has 54 votes, 9 less than Marxist-Leninist Philip Fernandez has earned in Toronto Centre. (JB)
1:07 a.m.—We’re about to call it quits for the night, but the Conservatives have taken 138 seats and are leading in 7; Liberals took 72 and are leading in 4; Bloc took 48; NDP took 34 and are leading in 4; Independants took 2; Green and others got zero. (DT)

1:05 a.m.—Harper has three major priorities: 1. govern for all Canadians; 2. work together for all Canadians; 3. keep our promises. So basically the Prime Minister of Canada is planning on, you know, governing the country of Canada. Be still my beating heart. (HD)
12:58 a.m.—Harper is so far sticking to Oscar thank yous and generic platitudes about what we can accomplish together. So far his speech could have been given by just about anybody. (HD)
12:56 a.m.—Point taken, though he will have some decent political cover: the economic crisis is far bigger than he is, and if Canada keeps in better shape than the U.S. (which the structure of our banking system virtually guarantees), he will already claim to be doing the best anyone could in tough times. As much as he failed in his goal of getting a majority, he still inspired more confidence than Dion. I agree that it’s a loss, but not even close to a fatal one. (HD)

12:53 a.m.—Hamutal: it’s a political victory for Harper, but a long-term tactical loss. Harper announced this election because he knows, Jim Flaherty’s happy-talk aside, that Canada is in for severe economic problems and that saying “well it’s not as bad here as it is everywhere else” won’t mollify people for long. He wanted a majority and he didn’t get it. Now he’s a minority leader heading into a likely economic downturn who campaigned on the idea that he was the reliable, safe choice for economic tough times. He’s got a rough road ahead of him. (CB)

12:49 a.m.—Is anyone else beset by the nagging suspicion that Harper wears lipgloss? (HD)
12:47 a.m.—Harper’s making his way through throngs of supporters. When he won the first time pundits said Canadians weren’t quite sure they trusted him, and gave him a minority as a trial run. Today’s increase in support is a half-victory. We know him better now, and fears about him proving a closet fascist have dissipated somewhat, but he seems to have hit his limit. We trust him more than the other guy, but as votes of confidence go, it’s tenuous at best. (HD)
12:42 a.m.—Outremont may elect an NDP-er after all. Mulcair now ahead by some 800 votes over the Liberal Dhavernas, and may make history as the first NDP candidate to win in Quebec in a general election. Just how dead is the Liberal party in Quebec, anyhow? (HD)
12:38 a.m.—In the period of vague punditry, waiting for Harper to make an appearance. (HD)
12:31 a.m.—Some dumbass on Twitter: “for sale: used blue sweater, unused green shift plan.” Peter Mansbridge: “heh, that’s a good one.” Uh HUH. Then again, this is the network that thinks the Royal Canadian Air Farce is funny, so maybe he really meant it. (CB)
12:30 a.m.—CBC’s online maven Susan Ormiston likes Twitter waaaaay too much. (JG)
12:26 a.m.—Peter Mansbridge has a really, really punchable face. (CB)

12:23 a.m.—No Dion resignation tonight, but mark my words: he’s toast. (JG)

12:22 a.m.—Dion, for the first time in months, talked about the economy for several minutes before even bringing up the environment. Fight harder, Mr. Dion! (HD)
12:20 a.m.—Stephane Dion is, of course, probably the smartest person to be a political party leader in Canada in years, and widely known to be a decent and upstanding person. However, he talks funny and he’s kind of a nerd. Not since Joe Clark has a political leader gotten such short shrift in Canada, frankly, and the fact that he’s going to be turfed for a limpdick like Michael Ignatieff or an unelectable near-pariah like Bob Rae is just proof that Canadians are, when you get down to it, stupid like everybody else on the planet. (CB)
12:20 a.m.—Dion: “The priority of the Official Opposition will be the economy.” (JG)
12:19 a.m.—Here’s that botched interview with Dion that has him so pissed at CTV. (DT)

12:16 a.m.—Dion to CTV reporter: “The last one I want to speak with is CTV.” I guess he’s still mad at Mike Duffy and Steve Murphy for breaking their promise to not air the botched part of his interview, eh? (JG)

12:13 a.m.—Why we cared about Guelph, incidentally: there was a story in Maclean’s about Tom King running as a candidate there for the NDP and how he was a star candidate and a Big Deal. He came in fourth. Moral of the story: don’t read Maclean’s. (CB)
12:11 a.m.—Oh, there it is. It’s west of Mississauga! We’re learning so much tonight. (DT)

12:10 a.m.—Lesson of the day for MPs: voters hate floor crossers. A lot. Garth Turner: booted. Wajid Khan: torn to pieces. Liberal and Conservative candidates in Vancouver Kingsway, which elected Grit-to-Tory turncoat David Emerson in 2006: destroyed by the NDP. That’ll learn you. (JG)
12:08 a.m.—Right now, everyone here on Torontoist’s elite liveblogging team can’t remember where, in Ontario, Guelph is, even though everyone here has friends who go to school there, and stuff. We are Google Mapping it now! (DT)

12:02 a.m.—Jerad: maybe in future, the Greens can adopt this stunning “we would win if everything was different” strategy to greater effect. For example, if all the other major parties held their nominating conventions in Moose Jaw at the same time and an asteroid hit Moose Jaw and obliterated all life for a hundred miles all around, then the Greens would definitely pick up, oh, maybe fifteen seats! (CB)

12:02 a.m.—Layton looks understandably ebullient. Props to effective and astute organizing: he turned a .5% increase in popular support into an 8 seat bump in caucus size. If the Liberals could elect a leader with that kind of political acumen, they might actual stop being the kid in the class nobody wants to play with at recess. (HD)

Photos from CityNews’ photostream.
12:00 a.m.—Pretty much every riding where Conservatives are ahead in the GTA is amazingly close, save for Peter Kent’s win in Thornhill: the Conservative candidates are ahead by 244 in Oak Ridges-Markham, by 10 in Brampton West, and by 34, now, in Mississauga-Erindale. (DT)

11:59 p.m.—Just got back from the Green Party shindig for Toronto-area candidates and supporters. The general consensus: “We weren’t really expecting to win a seat anyway,” mixed with “This wouldn’t have happened if Canada had proportional representation!” (JG)

11:58 p.m.—Jack Layton says “kitchen table” within the first fucking twenty words of his speech. We get it, Jack. (CB)
11:58 p.m.—RE: Duceppe. Also note that right now Duceppe essentially pulls his electoral support from the same demographics as the NDP does, which is a major part of the reason the NDP barely has any pull in Quebec. If they ditched the nationalism crap and just joined up with the NDP they would have 88 seats and maybe the left wing would really matter for once. (CB)
11:56 p.m.—Seat counts seem mostly set in stone right now, so: Tories 144, Grits 74, Bloc 50, Dippers 38, independent scallywags 2. (CB)
11:55 p.m.—Resisting the urge to throw things as Duceppe. Quebec is a nation, and their language is French. Fine, but why does that need to stop the rest of us getting things done?? Sometimes we’re a collection of separate constituencies and sometimes we’re one nation, and nationalist sensitivities aren’t more important than everything else. If we’re going to get anything done on the environment, on national childcare, on advancing progressive taxation policies, everybody to the left of Harper needs to get it freaking together. PLEASE IF YOU CARE ABOUT ANY OF THESE THINGS GET OUT OF MY FEDERAL GOVERNMENT. (HD)
11:50 p.m.—Fringe update: Davenport is the hot spot in the race to finish with the lowest vote count in the city, with Marxist-Leninist Sarah Thompson in Mississauga-Erindale sitting at 56 votes, 5 below previous title holder Simon Luisi. (JB)
11:48 p.m.—But holy crap—with 50,000 votes counted, the race between Conservative Bob Dechert and Liberal Omar Algharba is only thirteen votes apart, according to the CBC. (DT)
11:40 p.m.—Pretty much every Liberal candidate in Toronto has won pretty easily, including this guy: Bob Rae, in Toronto Centre. The NDP only got Chow and Layton’s seats, and the Conservatives got Peter Kent’s. (DT)
Photo from CityNews’ photostream.
11:38 p.m.—Dion in the process of putting calls in to the other leaders. HQs described by the CBC as an “empty and sad scene.” No kidding. (HD)
11:34 p.m.—Blair Wilson comes in a dismal third place with less than a thousand votes in West Vancouver-Sunshine Coast-Sea To Sky Country, proving that the Green Party is officially the touch of electoral death in this country. (CB)

11:32 p.m.—Victory! (DT)

11:31 p.m.—Peter Kent elected in Thornhill, apparently having finally found a riding where he can, you know, win. (CB)
11:30 p.m.—Peter Mansbridge noted the changes in party leadership that broke the country out of its string of successive minority governments of the 1960s (Pearson replaced by Trudeau, Diefenbaker by Stanfield). Any early guesses as to who could assume the Dalton Camp role in any of the parties over the next year? If Dion attempts to hang on, will “Dump Dion” be this generation’s version of “Dump Dief?” (JB)
11:28 p.m.—The Post is allowing reader comments again, but they’re not publishing our pun-y submissions. We will attempt to postulate a thesis as to why. (DT)

11:28 p.m.—The Post stopped allowing reader comments on their liveblog three minutes after we jokingly suggested that it was getting “pretty loose.” That is a good thing, but it also means that our amazing comment there in reply to their news about Wajid Khan having lost—”Oh no! I khan hardly believe it!”—never got published. (DT)

11:27 p.m.—Justin Trudeau’s victory is a rare celebratory moment for the Liberals, so naturally commentators are starting to muse about his leadership potential. That’s likely. However, if he endorses Gerard Kennedy again, that would lead credence to my “Gerard Kennedy wins the Liberal leadership race and then we have to do all this shit again” theory. (CB)
11:21 p.m.—The CBC is reporting on what people are saying on Twitter. Remove the internet, and this would be the CBC going out into the street to see what vagrants on street corners are yelling. However, this is Web 2.0, where content is king and everything is serious because it is the future, baby! (CB)

11:20 p.m.—Gerard Kennedy now officially elected in Parkdale-High Park, and by a substantial margin. One of the ridings that was supposed to be a dead heat turns out to have been a bit of a blowout. This one is going to be tough to swallow for many of the NDP faithful, and a huge boon to Kennedy when the next Liberal leadership battle comes around. (HD)

11:15 p.m.—I think it’s fair to say at this point that, certain leftist pinkos hating him aside, Jack Layton is the winner of this election on points; the NDP gained popular vote share, six seats (at current count), and Layton’s become one of the most popular political leaders in the country. Admittedly, it’s Canada, so mostly this means “we don’t despise him as much,” but, hey, a win is a win. (CB)

11:14 p.m.—Voter turnout rate is seriously pathetic, somewhere in the mid-50s it looks like. Another victory for slackers across the land. (HD)

11:11 p.m.—Haha. The Post shouldn’t have put in reader comments along with the liveblog. It’s kind of a disaster. Go us! (DT)
11:11 p.m.—It is officially now the time where you are supposed to make wishes. (DT)

11:11 p.m.—Chow now pulling several hundred votes ahead of Innes. Her streak of pulling through in the end seems like it’ll hold. (HD)

11:10 p.m.—Everybody listen! Rick Mercer is telling us what’s what. Apparently Stephen Harper is so unhappy with tonight’s result that he’s gonna take his toys home and Never. Come. Back. Wha? (HD)
11:10 p.m.—Hey, it’s been a while since we heard from Rex Murphy and Rick Mercer! Rex Murphy thinks Dion is an idiot because he advanced a bold carbon tax policy and politicians are supposed to be craven cowards, and he also thinks that losing an election is awesome. Rick Mercer says that Stephane Dion is going to get kicked out as leader, which is the boldest political prediction since betting that the Tories would lose the 1993 federal election. Remember: these people make millions of dollars for this shit. (CB)
11:05 p.m.—MuchMusic interviews young, relatively ignorant voters! This is different from the usual interview-the-plebes fare, where one interviews older, relatively ignorant voters. One student is scared of the Tories, who will rape your dog and cut it up into steaks. Another is worried about her student debt, because voting for a different party will make it all go away. (I believe the NDP promised to outlaw debt collection agencies!) Can we go back to when young voters were apathetic and didn’t care about politics? At least then, they were quiet. (CB)
11:00 p.m.—City is broadcasting bloggers on the web on the TV! And people’s Facebook comments! THEY ARE CUTTING EDGE YOU KNOW! (CB)

10:59 p.m.—Checking the fringe party vote, the most successful candidate so far in the 416 is Progressive Canadian Bahman Roudgarnia, with 383 votes in Willowdale. Unfortunately, the abbreviation used by CBC for his party could be confused for an illicit substance. At the bottom of the heap is Simon Luisi, the Animal Alliance Environment Voters Party candidate in Davenport, who was the last candidate to cross into double digits (11 votes), earning the distinction of earning fewer votes than there are letters in the party name. As far as star fringe candidates go, graphic novelist Chester Brown is sitting in fifth in Trinity-Spadina, 1,100 votes behind the Greens. (JB)

10:57 p.m.—True story: I was chatting last week with a friend, and she said, as we were discussing the election, “Jack Layton is a scumbag.” Understand that this is someone who is a diehard left-wing socialist pinko by any reasonable account, too. And this isn’t the first time I’ve heard such things from the wacko commies I know. There is no moral to this story, except that maybe Layton should shave his moustache or something like that. (CB)
10:52 p.m.—So if Harper failed (because he didn’t bring home the majority predicted just a month ago), and Dion failed (because he didn’t offer Canadians an alternative they found appealing), who exactly is the winner tonight? The NDP is doing well, but Layton is so far still 10 seats off of the party’s high-water mark under Broadbent. General consensus: we all feel meh about everybody. (HD)
10:52 p.m.—Green percentage of the vote seems pretty set in stone: six point five percent. In 2006, they got four point five percent. This means they will only need another two elections to get enough votes to achieve matching funding! (CB)

10:47 p.m.—Alright, we’re ready to project the winner. According to the votes coming in, Canadians—by an overwhelming majority—have elected Barack Obama as their next prime minister.
Photo by Joe Crimmings.
He is pretty much the greatest. (DT)

10:47 p.m.—Peter Mansbridge is now engaging in delusional journalistic fantasies about floor-crossing and Speaker appointments taking the Conservatives into majority territory. Yeah. Whatever. (HD)

10:46 p.m.—Crystal ball time! Say Gerard Kennedy wins in Parkdale. A few months from now, the Liberals have their convention like we all know they will, then Rae, Kennedy, and Ignatieff all run for the leadership. Kennedy wins the same way that Dion did: neither Ignatieff or Rae have enough support in the ranks to decisively win, and a compromise is reached. Kennedy becomes the new Stephane Dion, a leader whose party doesn’t really support him worth a damn. And then we get to do this election all over again! (CB)

10:43 p.m.—Tories are at 143, twelve seats away from a majority—chances of them actually getting it are still relatively small, but less small than they were. (CB)
10:40 p.m.—Kennedy now ahead of Nash by about 800 in Parkdale-High Park. The NDP will beat their heads into a brick wall if they lose this. (HD)
10:38 p.m.—Szabo and Crombie now both declared in their ridings. Hey, at least the Grits at least aren’t tanking as bad as the Tories under Campbell. Small victories, right? (HD)

10:38 p.m.—680 News just sent out a breaking news e-mail with the subject: “Main party leaders have won their seats.” Elizabeth May is probably feeling pretty hurt right now. (DT)

10:37 p.m.—Joe Volpe’s now in the lead in Eglinton-Lawrence…looks like the 15-year shutout of any party running in the 416 with “Conservative” in their name is back on! (JB)

10:36 p.m.—Global has somebody at a bar asking people what they think about the election. Noteworthy: the bar-folk think May made a mistake trying to take on Peter Mackay. Elizabeth May: worse political instincts than a room full of drunks. (CB)

10:35 p.m.—Jerad is off to go cover the Green Party…party around the corner, and he’ll be back soon. For the sake of eliciting giggles in his absence, here’s a shot of what the Green Party headquarters on Dundas East looked like yesterday, as captured by reader Kirk Pierrepoint yesterday. Heh. (DT)
10:34 p.m.—Global is trying to make people believe there might be a slim chance of a Liberal/NDP coalition government. They would have a better chance making people believe that the Tories will sell Quebec to the Bloc in exchange for a minority. That is more plausible at this point. (CB)
10:31 p.m.—Low-profile Liberal MP Gurbax Malhi, who has held the 905 riding of Bramalea–Gore–Malton for 15 years, is getting a scare from Tory challenger Stella Ambler. CTV has her up by 400 votes. (JG)

10:27 p.m.—The Tories are leading in Nunavut! This is the result of their brave “Get Rid Of Snow Forever” global warming platform. (CB)

10:27 p.m.—Olivia Chow and bride-of-politician Christine Innes within a hundred votes of one another. Coattails apparently don’t come longer than Ianno’s. (HD)

10:27 p.m.—It looks like the campaign of intimidation in St. Paul’s didn’t sway local Liberals one iota. Longtime Grit MP Carolyn Bennett takes it in a walk. (JG)

10:26 p.m.—Technically Turner didn’t cross the floor: he was kicked out of his caucus. But still, file under: hair-splitting that leaves the voters unmoved. (HD)
10:25 p.m.—Do not underestimate Lisa Raitt’s ability to bring out the well-known Cylon vote. Her laser vision is worth half a riding all by itself. (CB)
10:25 p.m.—Paul Szabo and Bonnie Crombie, both Liberals, leading in their ridings. The 905 belt is staying at least partly red. (HD)
10:24 p.m.—CTV has Halton Lib MP and prolific blogger Garth Turner losing by more than 1000 votes to Conservative Lisa Raitt. I guess local residents prefer a parachuted candidate to a floor-crosser. (JG)
10:20 p.m.—It’s getting worse for the Liberals as the night goes on. CTV now predicting they are going to lose 14 seats in Ontario. Unclear if it’s greater comfort with Harper or a deep antipathy to Dion, but in either case this is a bigger crash-and-burn than polls predicted. (HD)
10:20 p.m.—Michael “undermine Dion? No, no, you’re thinking of Bob Rae” Ignatieff leading in Etobicoke Lakeshore. Of all the seats the Tories have snagged in Ontario, they couldn’t have gotten this one? (CB)
10:18 p.m.—CBC has longtime Oakville Liberal MP Bonnie Brown down by 500 votes to former Conservative MPP Terrence Young. You bet the Grits didn’t see that coming. (JG)
10:17 p.m.—We, uh, don’t all share Chris’s opinions about stuff. Just sayin’. (DT)
10:16 p.m.—Joe Volpe in Eglinton-Lawrence is having a hell of a night. He’s currently trailing a Tory. So unhealthy for the ego. (HD)
10:15 p.m.—CBC predicting that the Tories will gain a net ten seats in this election in Ontario. Given that the Tories’ official policy towards Ontario can best be described as “moderate disgust,” one can only conclude that this province is filled with submissive gimp-people who gain erotic pleasure from their political leaders telling the world to invest elsewhere. (CB)

10:12 p.m.—Hilariously self-promoting entry from the National Post‘s liveblog: “From Brian Hutchinson in B.C.: The CTV Newsnet feed remains frozen in B.C. What a debacle for CTV. CBC Newsworld is finally broadcasting to the West Coast after it’s [sic] pre-emptive strike. Global Television broadcast is flawless.” What conglomerate owns Global? Canwest. And guess who owns the National Post? Did you say “Canwest”? Nice work. (JG)
10:12 p.m.—Over in Etobicoke Centre, Liberal Borys Wrzyicantspellit is leading Tory Axel Kuhn by about 500 votes with ten percent of polls headed in. This is noteworthy because Kuhn, days before the election, delivered a mailer throughout the riding that was actively defamatory (which is lawyerish for “malicious bullshit”) in a desperate attempt to win. Moral of story: Axel Kuhn is a waste of human skin. (CB)

10:10 p.m.—Pretty boy Mark Kelly waxing ominous about Dion’s future. Expect predictions of a Liberal leadership convention with your morning coffee. (HD)
10:10 p.m.—Winner of the “most boring election night liveblog” award: National Post. Torontoist owns you! (JG)
10:08 p.m.—Here’s a photo of Hazel McCallion on City’s set, just generally looking tough, just because. (DT)
Photo from CityNews’ photostream.

10:06 p.m.—MuchMusic’s political coverage: White Boy Afro (I am making up the name of the band, I have no idea who the hell they are) sing about… I’m not sure, but let’s be generous and say it is a song about the democratic process. Meanwhile they have a seatcount across the bottom, and flash factoids like “the election in 2004 cost 227 million dollars” and “if you are over 18 you are registered to vote” and “but you probably shouldn’t vote if you thought watching this was a good idea.” (CB)

10:02 p.m.—CTV and Global are both predicting a Conservative minority. You think? (JG)
10:02 p.m.—Bob “Who, me? Undermine Stephane Dion behind the scenes? No, no, I think you’re talking about that Ignatieff fellow” leading in Toronto Centre, albeit by a smaller margin than expected considering that the Tory candidate is some 27-year old whose political claim to fame is that he used to be a personal aide to Stephen Harper. Again: this dickwad got Harper coffee and he is running in second place in one of the biggest ridings in the country. I never want to hear a Canadian make a smug joke about Sarah Palin ever again, except for me of course. (CB)
10:00 p.m.—CityTV wins the award for most cantankerous pundit. Octogenarian Mississauga Mayor Hazel McCallion, is there nothing you can’t do? (JG)
9:58 p.m.Parkdale-High Park bulletin: Nash and Kennedy tied with… wait for it… 71 votes each!! Get comfy kiddies: this one’s gonna go for more hours than you can bear. (HD)
9:56 p.m.—For the first time in many a year, the Tories have won a seat in PEI. Gail Shea has taken Egmont away from the Liberals. (JG)

9:56 p.m.—I totally bet that PEI elected that Tory because Stephen Harper looks kind of like a potato. (CB)

9:55 p.m.—NEWSFLASH: Tory leads in Alberta! This merits the CBC’s attention somehow. Oh wait, it’s that the NDP are close! I can’t believe I have to say this, but: BEING IN SECOND IS NOT A GODDAMNED STORY. (CB)
9:54 p.m.—Speaking of potential E! commentators, CBC’s hand-drawn graphics look like a bad Perez Hilton post. At least they’re not drawing stink lines on Stephen Harper (then again, the night has just begun!). (JG)
9:53 p.m.—John Rafferty is leading in Thunder Bay-Rainy River for the NDP. John Rafferty has run as an NDP candidate about eleventy thousand times, and he’s finally winning. I’m sure he’s quite nice, but there’s something essential to be said about the nature of Canadian politics here. (CB)
9:52 p.m.—The CBC says the story is Ontario. Ontario-haters, start your engines, too. (HD)
9:52 p.m.—Everybody but the Liberals gaining votes in Ontario. Dion-haters, start your engines. (HD)
9:50 p.m.—CBC has white guys with beards opining on the almost-totally-unknown election standards. I am a white guy! I have a beard! (Well, not a full one, but I can grow it out.) Give me a job, CBC! I promise to speak in respectful dulcet tones! (CB)
9:50 p.m.—Conservatives get no seats in Newfoundland and Labrador. All hail Danny Williams! (JG)
9:48 p.m.—Well that’s not a good metaphor at all. (DT)
9:48 p.m.—Maxime Bernier is leading, for the moment, in Beauce. I guess Quebeckers said “hey, he lets his girlfriend look at state secrets, and I would too, let’s be honest.” (CB)
9:45 p.m.—Here’s a fun game…Canadian elections are more like… (DT)

9:43 p.m.—Never mind. E! is just running Global’s coverage. You’d think they would at least add some commentary from Paris Hilton or something. (JG)

9:41 p.m.—May brags about how this time around the Greens got 9,000 votes in the riding rather than 6,000. This would be a whole lot more impressive if there had been a Liberal candidate in the riding this time around. Dear Elizabeth May: elections are not like the Special Olympics. You are not a winner just for coming out. (CB)

9:40 p.m.—I hate to say it, but E!’s coverage looks surprisingly professional. (JG)
9:39 p.m.—Chris, I totally feel your pain at May, but there is another possibility. Ditch this first-past-the-post crap, and give the crazy proportional representation notion a fair shake. Revolutionary, I know, but let support for a party actually, you know, translate into a parliamentary hearing. (HD)

9:38 p.m.—Elizabeth May: “We ran the kind of campaign that other politicians can only dream of.” Yes, the kind where you wake up at three in the morning, shaking and wondering where all the spiders crawling over your body went. YOU LOST, LADY. (CB)
9:36 p.m.—The Tories lost a shitload of support in Newfoundland. Moral of story: do not mess with Danny Williams. (CB)
9:35 p.m.—Now that Elizabeth May has lost her fourteenth possible chance to become an actual elected member of Parliament, can we please please please consign the Green Party to the dustbin of history where they belong, rather than letting them split vote after vote? I speak as someone who voted Green, incidentally, and I was hoping maybe they’d become relevant, but they’ve gotten their fair share of kicks at the can and it is only right and proper that we give the Marxist-Leninists or the Marijuana Party their chance to be the official “I Wasted My Vote And All I Got Was A Smug Sense Of Self-Worth” voter option. (CB)
9:34 p.m.—Atlantic Canadians veering leftwards: NDP and Greenies picking up support, Tories and Grits both down. (HD)

9:34 p.m.—It’s go time. CTV says Green Leader Elizabeth May has been defeated by Peter MacKay. No surprise there, but there are going to be a lot of pissed off deep Greens calling for her head for selling them out to Dion’s Liberals. (JG)

9:33 p.m.—Of note: predicts 125 Tories, 94 Grits, 36 Dippers, 51 Bloc and two independents. And as we all know, the internet is never, ever wrong. (CB)
9:31 p.m.—Lloyd’s wearing an orange tie. Subliminal message much? (HD)
9:30 p.m.—Polls in Toronto are now closed. (DT)
9:28 p.m.—Meanwhile the real Rex Murphy is using his evil laser eyes to tell us about why this election is all about Stephen Harper. And Rick “Will Never Be Canada’s Jon Stewart No Matter How Much He Tells You He Is” Mercer wants to talk about Stephen Harper too, and telling stories about spending time with political leaders and oh my god you sellout douche shut the fuck up. (CB)
9:27 p.m.—Some member of the Air Farce is doing a bad Rex Murphy impersonation and telling bad jokes about the political leaders. Memo to CBC: all of your political humour is miserable dogshit. You are the establishment. Deal with it, will you? (CB)
9:26 p.m.—CBC also has Allan Gregg, better known as the great white miserable failure of Tory politics. For some reason, this makes him a political worthy. HEY CBC I THINK THE GREENS ARE GONNA GET 450 SEATS! GIMME A COMMENTATOR JOB! (CB)

9:26 p.m.—Is it just me, or does the CBC E-Night studio look an awful lot like a low-rent version of CNN’s Election Centre—complete with a comically large touchscreen TV, courtesy of Susan Ormiston? (JG)

9:23 p.m.—Oh, CBC has Andrew Coyne on their panel! He’s so sensible! (CB)
7:39 p.m.—Just for kicks, here are what the two other leaders looked like voting.
At left, Elizabeth May; at right, Stephane Dion. Photos from the AP.
And here’s Jack Layton. At least as far as who looks happiest, the race so far is between May and Layton, with Dion dead last. (DT)