PROTEST: Anti-Scientology group Anonymous is having another planned protest at the Church of Scientology today. If you haven’t been to one before, hordes of people typically disguised by masks congregate outside the Scientology building and chant things like “Fuck Tom Cruise!” and encourage cars to honk their horns! Meanwhile, the staff at the Church of Scientology chill out in their foyer, have a potluck luncheon, and watch the festivities occur. We’re not really sure which organization is more annoying. Church of Scientology (696 Yonge Street), 9:30 a.m., FREE.
SHOPPING: In support of changing fashion trends, a bi-monthly women’s clothing swap is happening today near Kensington Market. Show up at 11 a.m. with unwanted clothes, shoes and accessories, and pay the $5 entry fee, and at noon, the frenzy begins, and you can take as many items as you please. Any unclaimed clothing will be donated to Dress Your Best, a charity dedicated to providing clothes for those entering the workforce. St. Stephen-in-the-Fields Church (103 Bellevue Avenue), 11 a.m., $5.
PARTIES: Tyler Clark Burke’s Santa Cruz is returning tonight, this time with a cottage theme. $10 gets you the chance to meet the love of your life, or just someone to spend the night with. Plus, there will be a film crew on hand to record every sloppy pick-up attempt you make. Captain John’s Harbour Boat Restaurant (1 Queens Quay West), 10 p.m., $10.
BOOKS: Cheech & Chong fans, your wait is over. Mr. Tommy Chong is in town this afternoon to sign copies of his new book Cheech & Chong: The Unauthorized Autobiography. We’re not really sure how many fans he’s expecting to attend. Doesn’t he know stoners don’t read? Indigo Chapters (220 Yonge Street), 12 p.m., FREE.
MUSIC: New wave legends Spoons are in town this evening for a Jagermeister-sponsored 80’s party at the Red Rooster Vintage Café. Joining them will be The Von Ericks, The Guys, and Primitives. If you come dressed in 1980s garb, you’ll save $2 on the cover charge. The Red Rooster Vintage Café (484 Plains Road East in Burlington), 10 p.m., $10.
Photo from the February Anonymous protest by Miles Storey/Torontoist.