FESTIVAL: The Canadian National Exhibition is back and bigger than ever this year. Along with the usual carnival rides, games, and snacks, there will be an outdoor acrobatic and pyrotechnic circus performance, equestrian shows, an escape artist, and the always-popular IAMS SuperDogs Show. Visitors can also get a preview of new state-of-the-art TTC subway cars set to debut in 2010, which will be on display in front of the Direct Energy Centre for the duration of the CNE. Plus, if you go tonight, you’ll be treated to a live performance by Q107 deejay (and uh, rock star) Kim Mitchell. Exhibition Place (100 Princes’ Boulevard), 10 a.m.–10 p.m., $14.
DANCE: In case you didn’t get drunk enough at your high school prom, the sixth annual Fake Prom is tonight. Fake Prom is like a real prom, with a live cover band, and a real prom king and queen announced at the end—but unlike your real prom, there’s no risk of getting expelled when the principal catches you with a beer in your hand. Best part? It all takes place at Toronto’s historic Palais Royale. Now, if you’ve been to the Palais Royale, you’ll remember their drink prices can be pretty daunting. Thankfully, Amsterdam Brewery is sponsoring the event, and their beer will be sold at the awesome price of $4. With DJs Dougie Boom and Chris Thinn. Palais Royale (1601 Lakeshore Boulevard West), 9 p.m., $18.
MUSIC: Some band called Radiohead is playing tonight at the Molson Amphitheatre. If you’re still looking for tickets, good fucking luck. This is the first outdoor show Radiohead’s played in Toronto in some time, and presumably, it’s going to be unbelievable. With Grizzly Bear. The Molson Amphitheatre (909 Lakeshore Boulevard West), 8 p.m., $35.50–$65.50.
DANCE: Toronto’s only adult contemporary dance night Sleazy Listening is back by popular demand. The night promises to bring you all the hits you’d hear at your dentist’s office, or standing in line at the bank. There will be free rice krispie squares for attendees, and you’re encouraged to wear outfits with shoulder pads. With DJs Sigourney Beaver, Winnie, and Miau Miau TM. The Chelsea Room (923 Dundas Street West), 9 p.m., <$5. Photo by Miles Storey.