Tobacco Farmers Paid, Traffic Charges Laid, Mookie Gets Made
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Tobacco Farmers Paid, Traffic Charges Laid, Mookie Gets Made

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The federal government announced that it’s going to give Ontario’s 1,000 remaining tobacco farmers $300 million so the farmers can stop growing tobacco. The farmers are all very excited about being paid money to not farm tobacco, and plan to grow marijuana instead.
The Ontario government claims it’s fast-tracking a high-speed rail line from Union Station to Pearson Airport. The people who always insist that Toronto is a world-class city now say that Toronto will be even more world-class when the line is built. World-classier, even.
The OPP laid over 5,000 driving-related charges over the long weekend, which is “news” only in the sense that people drive stupider on long weekends, but hey, if it makes the OPP happy to call it a special news announcement, it’s the least we can do. The OPP has been so depressed lately!
As part of an undercover investigation into the feminist movement, the RCMP spied on Rita MacNeil in the early 1970s. Torontoist would like to thank the RCMP’s rampant paranoia of the time for giving this story the best headline ever.
Finally, David Miller wants Torontonians to support Mookie Morris as the next Canadian Idol. With your help, Toronto, Mookie can become the next Ryan Malcolm! (Who, we are informed, currently has an excellent job at a Mr. Sub.)
Photo by Mike Wood.

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