MUSIC: Coldplay’s in town. If you’re looking for tickets, look no further than the friendly scalpers who will undoubtedly swarm the ACC around 6 p.m. tonight. Make sure you’ve made a hefty cash withdrawal beforehand, though—even on Craigslist, it’s hard to find a nosebleed ticket selling for less than $100. I guess some people still really like “Clocks.” Air Canada Centre (40 Bay Street), 7:30 p.m., $49.50–$97.50.
SPORTS: The Jays take on the Tampa Bay Devil Rays this afternoon in the third and final game of their current series. In case you plan on skipping work to watch the game, you might as well head straight to a sports bar; the weather forecast is calling for thunderstorms, and we all know how dreary the Rogers Centre can get when the dome is closed. Rogers Centre (1 Blue Jays Way), 12:37 p.m., $9–$195.
THEATRE: Kensington Market’s Bread and Circus Theatre is presenting The Anger in Ernest and Ernestine, a two-person comedy that stars local talents Jessica Beaulieu and Marcel Dragonieri and is directed by U of T student Gwynne Phillips. The show runs until this Saturday, and the event is 19+. The Bread and Circus Theatre and Bar (193 1/2 Baldwin Street), 8 p.m., $10.
MUSIC: This week’s edition of Rancho Relaxo’s pay-what-you-can music series features performances from local country artists Alistair Christl, Matt Bahen (of The Schomberg Fair), and Antler. The event is presented by local promoter Dan Wolovick and Two Way Monologues. Rancho Relaxo (300 College Street), 9 p.m., PWYC ($5 suggested).
Photo of Chris Martin lamenting his tragic existence by Daiga Oliva.