Happy Canada Day! Today is the one day of the year where Torontonians pretend that their city isn’t the best one in the country, and happily express national pride and forget that the rest of the country isn’t particularly fond of them because the rest of the country is totally jealous. Hooray! Sure, there are fireworks tonight pretty much everywhere, and a few bands that aren’t Final Fantasy or Feist are playing for free at the Harbourfront Centre later, but here are a few things you can do today that don’t require you to actually leave the computer you’re currently reading this on.
1. Read up on the history of our flag on Snopes. You may be surprised to learn that 1960s Tories had no aesthetic sense, and that the original flag had thirteen points but was changed because eleven looked slightly better and someone probably had triskaidekaphobia.
2. Buy ex-Torontonian Christian Landers’s Stuff White People Like book, which is released worldwide today. Landers was oh-so-gracious at helping us with a list of Stuff White People in Toronto Like, and his book includes flow charts, including one that outlines where a white person should live. Fingers crossed!
3. Vote in LWOT Magazine‘s “Who Is The Most Mediocre Canadian?” contest. We dare you to think of a better answer than this crew.
4. Argue! About whether “God keep our land” belongs in our national anthem. Or how unfair Rogers’ Canadian iPhone plans are (especially now that AT&T just announced their more reasonable plans for the States). Sure, the country has bigger problems, but $7 extra for call display???!?! Preposterous!
5. Take an ultra-concise walk through Canada’s history, from the dude who made an ultra-concise walk through the TTC strike.
Photo by Duchamp.