Miller Fights Guns, Gang Goes Home, Torch Causes Riots
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Miller Fights Guns, Gang Goes Home, Torch Causes Riots

Mayor David Miller unveiled a YouTube video asking Canadians to sign an online petition urging Ottawa to ban all handguns in Canada. While most handguns are already illegal, the gesture would serve a powerful symbolic purpose by pushing the blame for Toronto gun violence onto the feds.
CBC News says that a highly publicized series of raids in 2005, which police said took a major gang out of commission, have resulted in almost no convictions in spite of the fact that drugs and guns were seized and 1,350 charges laid. You know what would have helped? An online petition.
Police are seeking two sword-wielding men who robbed a TD Bank in the west end yesterday morning. When police arrived, they found the swords and stolen money nearby but no trace of the robbers. Police believe the bandits were either arrested by Superman and dropped directly into jail or eaten by werewolves.
In Paris yesterday, the Olympic torch had to be transported by bus after it was snuffed out three times by protesters angry at China’s occupation of Tibet. The chaos followed similar scenes in London, and officials expressed concern that there would be further trouble as the torch passed through San Francisco Wednesday. A Chinese government official explained that Americans would be unwise to protest because, “We own most of your national debt.”
A study out of Atlanta has found that among young monkeys, males prefer playing with toy trucks while females are drawn to dolls and plush toys. They also found that among adult monkeys, females earned 35% less money than males in comparable positions.