news
Ford Never Sorry, Sikh Refused Constitutional Right To Brain Injury, UN Must Not Be On Crack
City councillor, unintentional humourist, and Torontoist favourite Councillor Rob Ford has grabbed himself some headlines again. He refuses to apologize for his comments on Wednesday, “the Oriental people, they’re slowly taking over…they’re hard, hard workers,” because his sweeping generalization was intended as “a compliment.” However, a spokesperson for the Canadian Council of Lazy Asians has said that the remarks were “deeply offensive.”
A devout Sikh man has lost his bid to overturn the law requiring all motorcyclists to wear helmets. The Crown rejected Baljinder Singh Badesha’s assertion that helmet laws infringe his religious freedom to wear a turban, arguing that non-helmeted riders were far more likely to be seriously injured in any accident, with the medical costs passed along to society. There’s actually a potential compromise here—if Badesha would waive his right to any medical treatment necessitated by his irrationality, then when he inevitably cracks his head open on a curb (or “joins the Gary Busey fan club,” as it’s known in biker circles), the rest of us can contemplate the folly of interfering with natural selection without having to pay for it.
In the misty Otherworld of U.S. politics, the Clinton team is demanding that the primaries in Florida and Michigan, which don’t count, should count, on account of she won them. The Democratic party may hold the primaries again, giving the tiny group of voters who choose from the tiny pool of candidates the ability to maintain the fantasy that this has something to do with democracy. The issue is particularly sensitive in Florida, where many people still think Al Gore is President.
The United Nations has slammed Canada for programs that provide free crack pipes to drug users in three cities, including Toronto. The Ontario Ministry of Health stands behind their programs, saying that they are essential for poor single parents and others who otherwise might not be able to afford recreational crack use.
A report to be released by the Department of Natural Resources says that climate change will lead to more “ice storms, torrential downpours, floods, droughts and landslides” in Canada. On the other hand, Canadian wines may be improved by the warmer weather, and it’ll help to have a little buzz going as the environment collapses.
Also, we’re getting a whack more snow this weekend, and you get to lose an hour of sleep to daylight savings time. Welcome to March, and sorry about everything.
Photo by Jamuudsen from the Torontoist Flickr Pool.