Zoo Goes Green, Tories May Have Improperly Applied Green, Conrad Black’s Face Looks Green
Toronto Zoo to go green. The Zoo will now focus on biodiversity and sustainability while presenting animals from around the world in small, depressing, joke-like habitats that offer a crude mockery of how the animals would prefer to live, focusing on the fact that while their lives in the zoo might suck, at least nobody is killing these animals for fun, as would frequently happen in the wild.
Prince Harry being withdrawn from Afghanistan. It was all right when nobody knew he was serving there, but now that the media’s decided to admire him he can no longer be admirable because it would endanger both himself and his unit. Moral: the media is the devil and Patrick Metzger should feel deeply ashamed for what he done because he knows what he did.
New book charges that Stephen Harper knew about a bribe to independent MP Chuck Cadman to topple the previous Liberal minority government. Ah, no big deal! It’s just a federal crime, after all.
McGuinty pledges to help retrain laid-off workers. Yes, soon we will all be able to replace our lost auto manufacturing jobs with the very newest phone-banking, burger-slinging and roadside-repair positions. It’s like a dream come true!
Conrad Black loses bid to be freed on bond, will have to report to a Florida prison on Monday. Torontoist advises Conrad Black to spend his last free weekend learning how not to drop the soap.
Photo by hellembry from the Torontoist Flickr Pool.