Tories Strut, Romney Quits, Could You Have Sexsomnia And Not Know It?
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Tories Strut, Romney Quits, Could You Have Sexsomnia And Not Know It?

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The Tory minority government is double-dog-daring the Opposition to force an election over their crime bill. Prediction: Stéphane Dion will grumble and pretend he doesn’t care, Jack Layton will howl impotently, and the Bloc will negotiate another billion dollars for folk-dancing in Rimouski. Stephen Harper is truly the alpha Parliamentarian in this bunch.
Did you know that Toronto has already gotten as much snow this winter as the past two winters combined, and that more is on the way? If you’re cranky from trudging through slush, just pretend you’re in the movie Ice Age, riding a talking mammoth with the voice of Ray Romano. That’ll make you feel better.
The Crown wants “sexsomnia” declared a mental illness after a man was acquitted of sexual assault on the grounds that he was asleep and didn’t know what he was doing. The accused had imbibed around sixteen drinks when he got up from the couch where he was lying, put on a condom, and began attempting sex with a woman sleeping nearby. The man’s lawyers had originally decided to go with the “Sorry I was really wasted” defence, but settled on sexsomnia instead.
In the U.S., Mitt Romney has suspended his bid for the Republican nomination, saying that for the good of the party he would effectively hand the race to John McCain. Even in what by GOP standards is a noble act of self-sacrifice, Romney demonstrated his profound ignorance and fuckwittery by adding that allowing an Obama or Clinton Presidency would be “aiding a surrender to terror.”
A Muslim leader in Toronto says that “hundreds” of polygamous Muslim men are collecting social assistance for multiple wives. Building multicultural bridges or straight-up fraud? Discuss.
Photo by Seidoger on Flickr.

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