Villain: Television Commercials
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Villain: Television Commercials

Torontoist is ending the year by naming our Heroes and Villains of 2007––the people, places, and things that we’ve either fallen head over heels in love with or developed uncontrollable rage towards over the past twelve months. Get your dose, starting Boxing Day and running into the new year, three times a day––sunrise, noon, and sunset.
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Getting furious at advertising may seem so early 2000’s, but commercials this year have not only annoyed, but shown an outright aversion to creativity. It’s like advertisers realized that, since people pay to see crap like Alvin and the Chipmunks and Saw IV, quality isn’t such an issue. With television in a creative renaissance, the clunkers during the breaks make us glad Tivo has arrived.
Loblaw is a double offender this year. In the ad for their Tarte au Chocolat, the announcer butchers the product name speaking French that’s fit for an American in Paris. Then, there are the Joe Fresh dancing ads, which are the ad equivalent of a sleeping pill (not to mention bad knock-offs of the Gap holiday ads).
But where the Loblaw ads are dull, the Everest College ads are rude. A man scolds the viewer for being lazy before he storms off frustrated by the viewer’s inaction. It’s pretty big talk for a guy whose commercial plays between back-to-back episodes of Blind Date. Instead, couldn’t he yell at the skanks on the Ashley Madison ads to stop cheating on their spouses?
Maybe the woman (or man) is cheating because waiting at home in bed is the Dad from Rogers Home Phone. Dad reminds us of a Stepford husband, especially when he rambles on about fishing buddies named “Rod.” Every time he warns us at the beginning of the commercial that “it’s Dad,” we try our best to tune him out like good children should.
We also tend to zone out when people pretend they’re characters from Sex and the City. Of mind-blistering mediocrity are the Special K ads that feature a gay, an Asian and a hottie in a red dress girl-talking at the office. We’d have lunch with the cat lady in accounting before we dine with people who use phrases like “ring, ring, it’s obvious calling!” and respond to “join the club” with “honey, you started the club!”
The worst ad of the year, though, belongs to Global Television. Global has the balls to have sponsors for the previews of upcoming programs. Yes, the ad for next episode of Cane is brought to you by the Simpsons Movie. And for having ads sponsoring ads, Global Television is the supervillain of 2007’s television ads.

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