New Year's Eve(ist)
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New Year’s Eve(ist)

Photos by Paul Terefenko.
Tomorrow eve is New Year’s and the clock is ticking. Still stuck for party plans? Torontoist counts down the top ten ways to kiss off 2007.

10. CityTV’s Annual New Year’s Bash, Nathan Phillips Square, free admission. If you’ve got kids, alcohol allergies, or some other reason not to drink on (arguably) the biggest drinking night of the year, this zero-proof “evening of entertainment” is for you. Performers include the Plain White T’s (because you haven’t heard “Hey There, Delilah” quite enough this year), Roz Bell, JDiggz, Skye Sweetnam, Midway State, and the cast of We Will Rock You. Preshow starts at 8 p.m., telecast at 11 p.m. Don’t forget to wave to your mom.
And if you’re still in the square at midnight, don’t forget to look up to the CN Tower, which promises a “special New Year’s Eve countdown and midnight light show!” Exclamation point theirs, not ours.
09. New Year’s by Believe Industries at El Mocambo, $10 in advance. Into sensitive dudes with long hair and longboards? You’ll be all over the deejays at this shindig, hosted by Skate4Cancer’s adorable Rob Dyer. While the poster says it’s a “black and white affair,” that’s probably not a dress code, but rather a statement on the presumed abundance of dyed black bangs and pasty white skin (hey, there’s a reason the “Elmo” is only one skinny letter away from “emo”). Doors at 9 p.m., secret band from 11:20 to 11:50, free champagne at midnight. Tickets available online at evelMerch.
08. Dragonette w/ Hunter Valentine at Tattoo Rock Parlour, 567 Queen Street West, $40 in advance. Put on your finest American Apparel, pre-drink pink champers, and get around. So what if you only know the one song (the rest are shit anyway) and you’re really just there to scope out scenesters? Here’s a not-so-secret: so are they. And another one: we hear that DJ Kele (aka Bloc Party’s ambigously sexy frontman) will be spinning downstairs. Hopefully the thrill of being in eye-fucking distance of a super-hot Britpopper makes up for the cold, cold realization that you are actually in a place that is actually called—actually—”Tattoo Rock Parlour.” Doors at 9 p.m. Tickets available at Ticketmaster.
07. New Year’s Eve Extravaganza at Buddies in Bad Times Theatre, 12 Alexander Street, $25 in advance. The city’s queer-friendliest theatre turns into something of a bawdyhouse on NYE, with a special performance by local drag legend Donnarama and a “New Year’s Eve Babe” contest hosted by artist/promoter Andrew Harwood. DJs K-Tel and Shane McKinnon will deliver Top 40 and retro/alternative, respectively. Tickets available at the theatre box office.
06. DO NYE at Supermarket, 268 Augusta Ave, $25 in advance. DJs John Kong, Circle Research, and Alister Johnson will be doing it right all night, spinning funk, soul and hip-hop classics. Oh, and there are “party favours,” which sounds like an enticingly dirty and double-entendresque when you put it in quotes like that, yes? Tickets available at Supermarket, Soundscapes, Play de Record, Cosmos Records (416-603-0254) and Delphic (416-603-3334). Call 416-840-0501 for pre-party dinner reservations, if you wanna be all classy like that.
05. New Year’s Eve at Tranzac, 292 Brunswick Ave, $10 in advance, $12 at the door. This one’s for old-school hipsters, you know, the cardigans and Converse kind, the kind who still believe The _____s (insert indie band du jour) will save your life. Lineup is massive: Phonemes, By Divine Right, Drumheller, and Vigilante Justice on the Main Stage; Laura Barrett, Gentleman Reg, The Rural Alberta Advantage, Forest City Lovers, and Alex Lukashevsky in the Southern Cross Lounge; DJs Glissandro 70 in the Tiki Room and Steven Kado in the Main Hall. Plus, performance art by No Face No Problem. Doors at 8 p.m. Tickets available at Soundscapes, Rotate This and Tranzac’s Southern Cross Lounge.
04. Raunch’n’Roll at The Gladstone Hotel, 1214 Queen Street West, $30 in advance, $40 at the door. As a rule, the Gladdy draws the most rambunctious and ramshackle crowd on the strip, and NYE in the Ballroom will be no exception. The main attraction is the Skin Tight Outta Sight Rebel Burlesque, but the sideshows—a special performance by Miss Exotic World 2006 runner-up Diamondback Annie and live rock by The Creepshow—will be just as rousing, we’re sure. And if all that doesn’t sound sexy enough for you, listen to these prize donors: Doll Factory, Condom Shack, and Nearly Naked. Up all night? Yes please! Doors at 9 p.m., show at 9:30. Tickets available at Nearly Naked (416-588-7090) and Rotate This.
Bonus: The Melody Bar has free admission, $12.95 dinner specials and karaoke with Peter Styles all night long.
03. Shit La Merde w/ Inflagranti and Supercycle at Sneaky Dee’s, 431 College Street, $20 in advance. Everyone loves a La Merde event ’cause La Merde loves everyone: the college crowd, the fashion school dropouts, the west end girls, west end boys, old-schoolers, nu-ravers. And for the third year in a row, SLM is cranking it up for NYE at Sneaky’s, where the drinks are cheap, the speakers are jacked, and the atmosphere is all party, no pretension. This year’s special imports are Brooklyn’s much-hyped Inflagranti and Vancouver’s Supercycle, and locally beloved DJs Pammm and Dougie Boom will be spinning between sets. Tickets available at Rotate This, Soundscapes and TicketWeb and, of course, Sneaky’s.
02. Flosstradamus w/ Team DNT & Nasty Nav at The Social, 1100 Queen Street West, $50—$60 in advance. The Social guys have the worst sound system in town, but that doesn’t stop them from landing the best sounds. Chicago duo Flosstradamus (DJs J2K and Autobot) have been scratching the surface of party circuit fame for the past two years and are about to get too hot to touch (their debut LP drops in ’08, and they’re mixing a tape with A-Trak and The Cool Kids soon too). Get tickets—selling fast at 69 Vintage, Carte Blanche (416-532-0347), and Play de Record—or get lost.
01. Dollarama at Wrongbar, 1279 Queen Street West, $1 entry with flyer. Yes, one dolla. And that’s why it’s number one on our list. Because after all, New Year’s is notorious for being overhyped, overrated, overpriced, and totally under-worth-it. At least this way, if you end up alone at midnight because all your friends have disappeared to puke or make out (or both) in dark corners, you won’t be thinking, shit, I could have bought like a dozen chai lattes with that cover charge. Instead, you’ll be thinking, shit, I could have bought a quarter of a chai latte.
That said, this Dollarama deal is a helluva bang for your buck. First of all, it’s the excuse you didn’t need to party with the newest kid on the block, this so-called lovechild of former Sweaty’s barkeep Chris Harper and DJ Nasty Nav. Secondly, More Proof‘s Your Boy Brian is DJing, along with St. Mandrew. Thirdly, it’s not the Social. Doors at 9 p.m. Show up early, and bring a flyer or hand-drawn fascimile to receive $1 admission.
Finally, kids, don’t drink and drive. Or bike. Or even walk. Instead, take advantage of free TTC service from midnight to 4 a.m.