Televisualist: It's Halloween Week! (And Other Stuff)
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Televisualist: It’s Halloween Week! (And Other Stuff)

Each week, Torontoist examines the upcoming TV listings and makes note of programs that are entertaining, informative and of quality. Or, alternately, none of those. The result: Televisualist.
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Monday

Nothing says “spooky season” like a mini-Hellraiser marathon, and AMC provides us with all the pin-faced goodness one could want: Hellraiser at 8 p.m. followed by Hellbound: Hellraiser II at 10. (Sadly, no Hellraiser III in the wee hours, but…well, the series kind of went to crap then anyway, although Hellraiser 7 was pretty good for a straight-to-DVD release…there will probably be people who read this and will be surprised that Hellraiser went to seven movies, but guess what? It went to eight.)
Kristen “Veronica Mars” Bell makes her first appearance on Heroes this week, as a girl with the superpower to give geeks massive, massive erections. (Global, 9 p.m.)

Tuesday

It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown! You know you want to watch it. Don’t make Televisualist come over to your house. (Unless you have some decent food, in which case we can make an exception just this once.) (ABC, 8 p.m.)
Reaper has a Halloween-themed episode with zombies and werewolves and a guy who grows guns for hands this week, presumably because it is a show about someone who does the Devil’s dirty work. How long this show can coast on Ray Wise’s awesome performance as the Devil is tough to say, but judging by the ratings? “Not that long” might be a good guess. (City, 9 p.m.)

Wednesday

See, traditionally Televisualist likes to hang out on Halloween, give the kids candy and watch a good horror flick, but there is nothing on this year. The Grudge? Dark Water? Silent Hill? What is up with all this nu-horror crap? (TBS is running Chill Factor, which is only scary in that it assumes people are stupid enough to believe that Peter Firth is age-appropriate to play a Vietnam veteran.) After much scanning and poring, however, we did notice Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit on The Movie Channel (#2). And…well, it ain’t the Bela Lugosi Dracula, but at least it’s a good movie. (8 p.m.)
Alternately, there are three hours of CSI: Miami starting at 7 p.m., but…no, there are places the human mind was not meant to go. (A&E)

Thursday

On Survivor: China, it’s getting down to the point where the tribes merge; it’ll either be this week or next (and probably this week). Pictured above: James the gravedigger, owner of what is generally agreed to be the best body in Survivor history—it’s so good the female contestants can’t stop staring and the gay guy made an alliance with him. (Global, 8 p.m.)
Televisualist was sick last week and thus did not get to comment on the debut of Are You Smarter Than A Canadian Fifth Grader? Really, the show is perfectly serviceable (and Colin Mochrie is about twenty steps up from horrible creepy old Jeff Foxworthy), but the title is so insecure that, well, it’s really very Canadian, isn’t it. (Global, 9 p.m.)
Vision airs Eight Men Out, which will almost certainly be more entertaining than the actual World Series (which isn’t going to go to game seven anyhow, so you don’t have to worry about a conflict). Plus, it has John Cusack, and we all know, people dig the Cusack. (9 p.m.)

Friday

This week on Women’s Murder Club: attractive late-thirties/early-forties women. And a crime! Probably, and am I just guessing by the title here, a murder. Bet they totally solve it. (CTV, 9 p.m.)
On Robin Hood this week, it’s the episode where the medieval mad scientist guy invents gunpowder. Except that gunpowder was already fairly well-known in Europe during the reign of Richard the Lionheart. This is why Robin Hood blows. (BBC Canada, 9 p.m.)
RED DAWN, dammit! WOLLLLLLLLVERRRRRINES! (AMC, 8 p.m.)

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