McGuinty Promises Millions Of Trees, Hampton Promises Less Downloading Of Costs, O’Connor Promises To Suck Less (Hopefully)

By Christopher Bird

Dalton McGuinty will pledge to plant fifty million trees to help fight climate change. Now, some might say that this is a somewhat lackluster pledge, what with the small print of promising to print all the trees over thirteen years. But what they didn’t mention is that the trees are actually sentient and will come to your home to politely discuss with you the merits of public transit, and help you compost and reduce your energy use! And people say government can’t do anything.
Gordon O’Connor is out as defence minister, and Peter MacKay is in. Which is kind of like replacing Curly with Moe. Yeah, it’s a bit better, but still, by the end of the reel your kitchen is going to be underwater. (Also, O’Connor is now National Revenue minister, so expect Canada to be broke within six months.)
Howard Hampton promises to reverse some effects of provincial downloading if elected. That sound you just heard was Denzil Minnan-Wong’s head exploding.
Ontario to spend $35 million to turn Kipling Station into a major transit hub. Although if you look at it more closely, all they’re really doing is adding Missisauga Transit bus stops to it, since it’s already a TTC and GO station. (With any luck, though, some of that $35 million will be directed towards making Kipling less fugly.)
Street racers to face $10K fines if they get caught. Now street racers will have to be rich and irresponsible if they want to keep street racing… oh, wait.
And Roy Halladay pitched his fifth complete game of the season as the Jays beat the Angels 4–1.
Photo by Simon Chambers from the Torontoist Flickr Pool.