Chicago prosecutors expected to ask that the book be thrown at Conrad Black. HA HA HA ROT IN JAIL YOU UNKIND GENTLEMAN [Needless to say, the previous two words originally read…uh…differently. They were swears!—Ed.]. Sorry, that was not very objective. Please amend the previous sentence to read “hee hee hee rot in jail you freaking aardvark.” In other news, he may also go bankrupt, making this officially the best news story of the year so far.
Ed Mirvish funeral touching and classy. Although you know what Torontoist liked especially about this story? That the police horse they named after Honest Ed was part of the honour guard at the funeral. You just know Honest Ed would have wanted the horse there.
Yahoo! buys Right Media. The huge online advertising company is expected to start sucking really badly any day now.
Crazed Londoner becomes first man to swim at the North Pole. Steve Pugh swam for nearly twenty minutes in -1.8° Celsius seawater to point out how crazy global warming is making the Arctic. In response, Exxon CEO Rex Tillerson issued a press release denying the existence of Steve Pugh, claiming that the stunt swimmer is “actually a trick of the light reflecting off swamp gases.”
City council votes today on tax increases. It will surprise nobody that the Globe and Mail does not think highly of the proposed tax increases.
And finally, the Jays beat the Red Sox 2–1 in a squeaker. No, really. It squeaked!
Image originally via impawards.com and modified.