Torontoist Liveblogged the MMVAs
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Torontoist Liveblogged the MMVAs

All photographs in this article courtesy of Much Music.
In the harsh cold light of the morning of June 18th, it’s time to step back a bit and take a look at the overall experience of liveblogging the MMVAs. What did we think?
Well, firstly, in retrospect, we feel kind of bad about just how badly we cussed a lot of celebrities—particularly those who hit the little stage. In general, the blame may actually lie with the press, who largely seemed most interested in having their picture taken with them (a major no-no, folks) than asking questions, and when they did ask them, is there any wonder that the celebrities came across as so boring when asked such stultifying questions? Someone actually asked George “Where do you see yourself in five years?” Heck, if you asked us that we’d probably come across as monosyllabic morons we’d be so bored. We forget George’s answer, It was probably “Graduating high-school.”
People who we don’t feel sorry about being mean about: Nickelback, Belly, Sabrina Jalees…actually, wait, that list is quite long. Maybe we are unrepentant.
Something which is great about the MMVAs, and which it was hard for us to bring across as we were situated in a tiny incredibly warm room with a million things going on which weren’t the show proper was that it’s probably the awards show that is most about the fans. The street is absolutely full of them, and the celebrities are within grabbing distance from the moment they walk out of their SUVs. We have no idea if the fan experience is as quite as good as they make it sound (it’s a noisy audience) but it’s a cool way to do things.
One thing that isn’t a cool way to do things, though, is to have about six awards before the show actually starts. Frankly, important awards like Best French Language Video are glossed over incredibly quickly. We don’t know if they really bother to repeat the Red Carpet special, and bands like Malajube deserve their spotlight, so it’s a shame they don’t really get one.
In closing, we’re kind of amazed we managed to liveblog the whole thing, with the handicaps of our wireless internet going up and down, far too much going on around us, and no sound on the monitors we were watching (we should really mention again how excellent the online stream was.) We had a good time and we hope you did too. And if you didn’t get a chance to read our liveblog, you can read the entire thing, re-ordered and cleaned up a bit, after the jump.

Though Lord M’Tevy wrote his hypothetical treatise “Music And Moving Pictures: The Concept of Giving the Combination Awards” in 1884, it wasn’t until Sir Muchington Much begun his traveling sideshow, “Sir Muchington Much’s Music Video Awards and Steak Dinner Revue” over 50 years later that people began to pay attention to the concept of “Music Video Awards.” We admit he was bolstered by the dawn of synchronised audio. As children are taught in our schools, Sir Much’s traveling sideshow soon turned into a yearly gala event, the most recent of which, the Much Music Video Awards 2007, we liveblog.
7:45—We are at the MMVAs, and all that stuff we wrote up there about Sir Muchington was a load of old nonsense, which we imagine will set the tone for the night. We have a nice pass on—those special wristbands that they make you wear sometimes at concerts and stuff and which we hate because they feel like a handcuff (seriously, you can’t take them off until you cut them off. It’s unnatural)—and we’ve walked past thousands of screaming, um, people, two raucous parties, numerous security people, and all that kind of jazz just to get to where we are—our location for the night.
We’re sat surrounded by monitors in front of some kind of podium with four chairs on it, upon which we are told a veritable cornucopia of stars will filter by, so we can, you know, complain about how smelly they are, or short, or something. We’ve also got a bajillion monitors surrounding us, making sure we’ve always got one eye on what’s going on outside.
7:55—So here’s something that might interest the readers. The MMVAs actually start half an hour earlier than they do on TV. It makes perfect sense! If something happens that they don’t like, they can fix it before it hits your eyeballs! This was of most interest to us because we’re now, like, an hour behind on actual live coverage, which we can’t see, because all the monitors here are now showing the coverage that’s being shown on TV (which is half an hour behind what’s happening outside).
We’re terribly confused.
[Editor’s note: We didn’t get time to mention this, but the award show itself is actually live, the red carpet just begins (and ends) half an hour early. As we liveblogged the whole thing from the TV feed, it’s a moot point.]
8:00—So, okay, let’s try and actually liveblog this, then. You can play along at home even if you don’t have a TV, because you can stream the awards live at Much’s website. Which we’d be doing too (because, um, none of the monitors we can see have sound, and the sound we can hear is out-of-sync anyway) if it wasn’t for the fact that our wireless internet, courtesy of One Stop Somebody-or-Other, is incredibly spotty. Gnngh!
8:05—Chris Bosh was just on our screen (we can’t guarantee he’s was just on yours). We wouldn’t be too bothered about missing this sort of inane pre-show guff if it wasn’t for the fact they seemed to have announced about three awards by right now, which is unusual. And no, we can’t remember what they were.
8:15—In the last post we said “unusual” as we have no recollection if they normally do it at MMVAs, because who remembers anything about them even a week after? It’s brain bubblegum, people, and you don’t swallow that stuff. You just chew it until it’s weird and flavourless and your jaws are tired. Marianas Trench are handing out a gigantic sandwich to the fans. This is funny, because the people inside are eating tiny sandwiches.
Actually it’s not that funny.
2007_06_19_mmva2.jpg8:20—Alexisonfire have been out; “the guy” (you know, “the guy in Alexisonfire”; do you expect us to know/remember his name? We can’t be bothered to Wiki them!) is dressed like Freddy Kruger, but that’s less interesting—who just walked out of a car? Perez Hilton!
He is one dorky looking dude! What the hell is he wearing? His mum’s tea towel wrapped round his neck? We know everyone hated on us for interviewing him back in the day, and, yeah, now we regret it. The guy [Much Music presenter Devon, apparently -Ed.] just seriously said to him “ is the new Pitchfork for breaking new bands.” In terms of “breaking” we’re now at the point where we want to start breaking legs (specifically of the guy who just said that).
8:25—So yes, an award was just announced. It was “Best Cinematography.” Because we were actually paying attention this time, we can discuss it. Actual liveblogging! Hooray!
The nominees were:
Alexisonfire—”This Could Be Anywhere In The World”; D.O.P.: Chris Sargent
Belly f. Ginuwine—”Pressure”; D.O.P.: Adam Marsden (Ha! are they kidding?)
Billy Talent—”Red Flag”; D.O.P.: Claudio Miranda
JDiggz—”Make It Hot”; D.O.P.: Simon Shohet
Sam Roberts—”Bridge To Nowhere”; D.O.P.: François Dutil
And the winners were: Alexisonfire! How do we feel about that? Hmm. When it comes to Alexisonfire, didn’t this kind of music stop being popular, like, five years ago? The video is not an terrible example of awful nu-metal, really, even if it is is absurdly formulaic. We suggest we all watch the video for Raging Speedhorn’s “The Gush” instead. Which was released in like, 2001.
8:35—Joss Stone is on screen! We enjoyed how much an embarrassment she was at the Brit Awards, but she seems to be less ridiculous tonight. Damn.
8:45—Fifteen minutes until the awards start proper, our wireless internet is still spotty as hell (why on earth are we under the opinion that it’s going to eventually level out? Just optimists, I guess) and they’ve announced loads of awards that we didn’t discuss because we didn’t realize they were announced. It’s all going to work out though; we promise!
So we thought you might like an update on what’s going on backstage here. Nothing. Absolutely nothing (of interest).
8:50—A lot of adverts so far, eh? And the more we think about it, the less we like the fact that they announce some awards with such little fanfare—particularly the independent award (announced) and the French-language award (also announced). We think (are mostly sure) that the French award went to Malajube’s Pate Filo, which is a great video an a great song, and they actually deserved some time in the spotlight, we say.
8:55—Okay, so they’re doing Best International Video Group. Too many nominees for us to bother typing them out, dudes (sorry). But it’s went to My Chemical Romance for “The Black Parade,” and whom aren’t with us here tonight because they’re too busy being a bit sad about things.
Just joking, lads. We imagine that absolutely no one agrees with us but Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge was chock-full of quality pop songs and “The Black Parade” is an alright song (with a silly video).
2007_06_19_mmva3.jpg9:00—And so Avril arrives (“finally” sighs someone behind me). What can we say about Avril Lavigne that hasn’t been said before? Perhaps that we’ve always thought she looks kind of like a giant shaved rat that’s been taught to sing pop songs, but not as cute? That sounds a lot harsher than we mean it, we swear.
We would say, though, that after putting out some of the worst pop ever (“Skater Boy” is excretable, and no, we won’t spell it “right”), “Girlfriend” is in fact, a very canny pop song. It’s from the dude who did Kelly Clarkson’s “Since U Been Gone,” so we can see why. Disgustingly poor video, though.
9:02—And Nickelback arrive. Sorry again, guys, but the stream of hate isn’t going to stop, because we genuinely feel that Nickelback shame us all as Canadians. They are quite possibly the worst thing we’ve ever foisted upon the world. Absolutely everything about them is crap, from their god-awful music (this is a band which seriously accepted the lyric “There’s the house where I grew up, oh, I guess the present owner did it up”) to their ridiculous hair. They look so astonishingly idiotic, we genuinely thought they were from an Eastern European country that hadn’t seen any actual culture for twenty years when they hit the scene (imagine how saddened we were when we found out they were Canadian! Tears were shed).
9:04—And the show itself finally begins! People in this press room area type thing are freaking out because they can’t hear the screens. We can, of course, because we’re streaming it online and listening to it on headphones. If everyone here could hear what I’m hearing (which is Fergie, “singing”) then maybe they wouldn’t be so desperate.
9:05—”Fergilicious” has this one amazing sample in it, though. Shame about the entire rest of the song.
9:08—Does it make us lame old fuddy-duddies that we remember when the Black Eyed Peas were a legitimate hip-hop group? Just wondering. You see, we’ve always believed that Fergie’s career is in fact a giant Trading Places kind of joke. You know, the film with Dan Aykroyd and Eddie Murphy (remembering that film, actually, means we’re lame old fuddy-duddies). You see, the Black Eyed Peas just got bored of being a legitimate hip-hop group and picked a random hobo and tried to make them a huge international superstar. And you know what? They succeeded!
9:10—Oh no we are sitting so close to Sabrina Jalees, the worst stand-up comedian in history. Why?! Why?!
9:12—Maroon 5 are on stage. We often think they should have stuck with their original name: Brown 2. (We are making a joke about them sounding like poop.)
9:15—Best International Video By a Canadian! Nominees were:
Avril Lavigne—”Girlfriend”
Nelly Furtado—”Say It Right”
Nelly Furtado—”All Good Things (Come To An End)”
Nickelback—”Far Away”
Three Days Grace—”Pain”
Avril was the winner! Thank God it didn’t go to Nickelback. Let us hope they go home with nothing.
9:16 – Too much Sabrina Jalees on TV. By which we mean “any.” Dear Much Music: you’re very lovely to have us here to watch your award show from on-site. But please never put Sabrina Jalees on TV ever again. If you have a space free on Video On Trial, we put ourselves forward. See how bad we’ve been cussing all the artists already! It’ll be easy!
9:20—If we’ve got this correct, that was the first Transformers ad of the night. So the Much Music Awards are already better than the MTV Movie Awards by like a million miles. Hooray!
9:25—Did we just miss an award? We think we did, but our wireless went down again. But who cares about the awards anyway, really? It’s the spectacle that matters. And check out the spectacle of Belly! Much to our chagrin, the Belly at the MMVAs is not the band by ex-Throwing Muses member Tanya Donnelly. Instead it’s some fat rapper guy who makes formulaic rap music and who apparently can’t be bothered to check if the name he’s going to record under is already taken, the lazy sod.
9:30—It is now officially a madhouse in this room. It is also around about 85 degrees in this room (the heat of this laptop on our legs admittedly not helping). We may reach the point where we are completely incapable of blogging the actual show because too much insanity. Another ad break, though. We actually think “thank goodness.”
9:32—They didn’t frisk us at all when we were coming in, you know. We could have brought a weapon in or anything. Cripes! We’re glad we didn’t, as we’d be paralysed trying to work out who to use it on. Sabrina Jalees, who’s right here right now, or wait for Nickleback, and hope we can take out all of them at once? Decisions, decisions.
9:35—We’re starting to feel less bad that we have no idea who’s winning the awards. No one in this room has any idea. We’re practically the most “in the know” people here.
2007_06_19_mmva5.jpg9:40—A couple of things. A rooftop performance of Finger Eleven, who are unbearably bad so enough about them. No, wait! Their name! What’s with that? Are they asking us to think of them as vestigial, useless, or something? Because their music isn’t doing anything to make us feel otherwise.
The other thing. Stuff is really happing in this room. Cheesy R&B weirdo George is on stage. He looks like a twelve year-old kid and is roughly as educated. So someone just asked, “how does it feel to hold something big in your hands?” (he won an award, it seems) which is weird. Why didn’t the guy just yell “I think you have a small penis!” and run out the room laughing? It would have been funnier.
9:42—This is amazing. We wish you could hear this amazing sycophancy from the press here. It’s like they’re interviewing the Queen or something. Why aren’t they lining up to kiss George’s signet ring? (p.s. We don’t know if he’s actually wearing one).
Oh, crap! Sabrina Jalees just looked at our screen, looked at us and smiled and waved. Is she on to us?!
9:45—MuchLOUD Best Rock Video goes to Billy Talent. We seriously have all the nominees and stuff in another file here…wait, let’s copy and paste it:
Alexisonfire—”This Could Be Anywhere In The World”
Billy Talent—”Fallen Leaves”
Finger Eleven—”Paralyzer”
Nickelback—”If Everyone Cared”
Three Days Grace—”Never Too Late”
Nickleback didn’t win! Excellent.
9:47 – Oh, more Transformers adverts. We spoke too soon, probably. We bet we missed loads earlier, too.
9:50—If anyone cares what’s been going on in this room, well, two jackasses off of Video On Trial were “riffing” on stuff the same way we’re doing right here, except they’re not being awesomely funny like we are. We’re not going to name names because we’ve mentioned one of the jackasses too much already.
9:55—Sam Roberts has come on the little stage. Plus, two other guys who we imagine are in his band. The weird thing is, they all have the exact same hair and facial hair. It’s like a stage of weirdly dressed clones!
Oh, in the actual MMVAs, they’re doing Best International Video Artist. Which (again) has way too many nominees for us to list.
Who’s won? Fergie! Because she’s here, right?
9:56—Creepily, two more clones have joined Sam Roberts on the little stage. Eventually, this room will be full of them—and we’ll be one of them!
2007_06_19_mmva6.jpg9:58—Yes!! Joss Stone is on the little stage. Let’s hear her amazing American accent!
Ach, it’s toned down a lot since her Brit Awards appearance (which has mysteriously disappeared off of YouTube). Anyway, some dude just literally kissed her feet. We’re not joking at all.
10:00—She’s either insane or taking the piss, because she just went full on fakey-American to say “Listen y’all, we gotta pray for Perez Hilton, because that man has a sickness.”
10:02—Someone just won Best Pop Video, right? None of the videos in that category were particularly poppy, we thought, it was:
City And Colour—”Comin’ Home”
George—”Talk To Me”
k-os—”Sunday Morning”
Keshia Chante—”2U”
Didn’t actually see who won. Um, we’ll fix it later. [It was Hedley. -Ed.]
2007_06_19_mmva7.jpg10:05—Jay Manuel is on the little stage (you know, the Canada’s Next Top Model guy) and he is wearing an astoundingly stupid hat, but he’s not as short as we all probably thought.
10:08—Fergie is on the little stage. Based on how she’s dressed and a variety of other things (is it too rude to use the word “skank”?), she looks like she should be wandering along one of “those” streets asking people “lookin’ fir bizness?” than standing on a podium having people fawn over her. Black Eyed Peas, you magnificent bastards. You really did it!
10:12—Fergie’s doing the Princess Diana event? They surely got the wrong Fergie, right?
10:15—Yes! Chris Bosh is coming onto the big main stage. We love that guy! The Raptors are really good and we love seeing them—and we’ve loved them since we went to see the Raptors and sat behind a whole row of pre-pubescent girls who literally did not stop screaming “BOSH!!!” through the entire game. It was like he was a Beatle or something. He’s presenting the Muchvibe Best Rap Video.
10:18—Nominees are:
Belly f. Ginuwine—”Pressure”
Classified—”Find Out”
JDiggz—”Make It Hot”
k-os—”ELEctrik HeaT—the seekwiLL”
Point Blank—”Born And Raised In The Ghetto”
Belly won. Boo! Did you see that video? He stands in front of a wall, and makes hand signals to the screen while he raps in a kind of angry way, and occasionally there’s slow motion video of “sexy” ladies, Cristal being poured, expensive food, and people dancing in clubs. Oh, and a bit where a “sexy lady” slides a lollypop stick(?) into her mouth slowly. Wow! That is worthy of lots of awards!
10:20—Finger Eleven are on the little stage. They look quite large, like they could beat us up very easily. We take everything back.
10:21—Actually, no we don’t. They’re disgusting blowhards. “We’re so great!” they say. People interviewing them agree! We stew quietly, saving up all of our ire for…Nickeback! Who let bands like this think existing was a good idea!
10:24—So hot, so sweaty here. We are melting.
10:25—The Used are amazing! They’re on the little stage acting like no one has ever heard a swear word before. Guys, when the Sex Pistols did it on TV it wasn’t even funny. They just did something fairly amusing though. They pretended they won an award, right? But they didn’t really. However! No one else in the room other than ourselves (um, we think) knew this. So, you know, they’ve been interviewed for five minutes pointlessly. That was pretty good, we thought.
10:26—We weren’t paying correct attention, but Avril just won an award. Best Canadian Artist, maybe?
2007_06_19_mmva8.jpg10:30—Video producer Little X just came on the little stage with his friend, whom we forgot the name of. Now, remember earlier when we said that Sam Robert’s band looked like a group of five clones? These two clowns look like 5th-generation photocopies of a picture of Nelly cut out of a gossip rag that was found in a bin. Congratulations to them!
10:35—Okay, so proper award again. People’s Choice: Best International Video (we think). Too many nominees. Let’s just wait and desperately try and hear who won.
My Chemical Romance! Alright, then!
10:40—What’s this advert that keeps using a New Order song, eh? Why would they want to remind people about good music during the MMVAs? God, we freaking love New Order. They’re amazing.
And before anyone wants to take us on about Bernard Sumner’s lyrics (after all, we earlier cussed Nickelback for their lyrics), shut it! “When I was a very small boy, very small boys talked to me” is an amazing lyric—in context. Nickelback don’t even know what context is.
2007_06_19_mmva9.jpgAlso, Billy Talent are performing live, but we’ve lost sound completely, and we can just hear them throbbing through the walls. “Red Flag,” we think? It’s not a bad song, but oh man! Their sound needs to, you know, move on for the next album.
10:45—Best International Artist went to Hilary Duff or something? We’ve still lost sound and Maroon 5 are on the little stage but on that note we couldn’t care less.
10:47—Billy Talent won an award then, but we have no idea what or anything, as still no sound! Darn! Oh, and another secret is that apparently Perez Hilton isn’t allowed in the press room. Probably because he doesn’t have press accreditation, he must be here as a “celebrity.”
10:50—So Belly is here on the small stage. He’s wearing some wonderfully ridiculous “bling.” I mean seriously, people, the only dude who could pull that crap off was Mr T. and he wasn’t getting on any planes, so he probably didn’t have much of a career as a musical artist, what with all the flying that you have to do if you’re touring.
Wait, what were we talking about? We got into a totally unrelated reverie about The A-Team. That was a great show—the way they’d get locked up and make a tank out of a pile of crates. Also, if only Mr. T could have got on planes.
If only he’d toured with Treat Your Momma Right. That’s a million times better than anything Belly has ever, or will ever, record.
p.s. Not the Tanya Donnelly band. As previously described, they were great.
10:52—Belly is boasting about how much money he’s making. How gauche.
10:55—Did Billy Talent Win Best Video, then? Is that the final award? It was a pretty good video (compared to the rest, at least).
10:56—Actually, does this stuff go on for another hour maybe? God, we’re knackered. We got sound back, at least! Avril is on stage singing what, yes, we still think is some pretty solid pop. It’s got a “Hey Hey” bit in it! They know what they’re doing.
11:00—It doesn’t! The show is over, but! But! We’re not actually finished liveblogging, so don’t close the window just yet! Proper famous people are finally going to hit the small stage. I think that’s Hillary Duff over there. She’s about the size of a thimble.
11:02—This just in! Journalists who have their picture taken with the person they are interviewing you know, as if they are a fan, should never be taken seriously. Ever. A lot of this people in this room are never to be taken seriously again. What a shame.
11:04—Hilary Duff could not be more inane, by the way. It’s astonishing. We feel like if we shook her really hard, you could hear the five or six brain cells rattle around in there.
11:08—Billy Talent on the little stage. They’re sweaty, but that one guy (you know the one I mean) his hair is still perfect. Perfect! They seem like nice boys.
11:15—I would have thought Avril Lavigne would have been coming in by now, but it seems like it’s over. No Avril, then, and you know? We barely noticed Sum 41 were even at the show. They must have been, though.
Gosh, we feel a bit non-plussed, now. That’s it? Um, alright, then. See you next year, folks!