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Kurt Vonnegut Dead, Belinda Stronach’s Political Career Dead, Don Imus’s Radio Show Nearly Dead
Kurt Vonnegut dies at 84. However, that is only the perception of those of us who remain stuck in time and narrative space, and what has really happened is that he has traveled into an alternative universe to relive his own life. And so it goes.
Belinda Stronach quits politics to go back to being a multimillionare owner of an auto-parts company. Belinda makes sure that we all know that being an MP was “tough.” In response, single mothers and homeless people across Canada take up a collection for poor, poor Belinda Stronach so that she can have Beluga caviar in her stretch limo every morning.
Judge orders a full recount of votes for the Vaughan municipal election held in November. This is officially the least interesting news story ever mentioned in a Torontoist news update that was nevertheless locally important enough to merit inclusion! Congratulations to Vaughan, the mayoral candidates and indeed the entire system of representative democracy!
Vancouver citizens look into a way to recycle dogshit. If they are successful in this, the next stage is to find a way to recycle horseshit, which will then make Stephen Harper environmentally friendly.
Speaking of horseshit: MSNBC drops its televised simulcast of Don Imus’ radio show. But without the televised simulcast, how will we know that Don Imus is wearing a cowboy hat? Radio’s just not the same when you can’t see them sitting in the booth!
Finally, the Jays pounded the Royals 7–4 last night.
Image: Self 2 by Kurt Vonnegut