Justin Timberlake in an Air Canada Centre
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Justin Timberlake in an Air Canada Centre

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One week and one-hundred-and-sixty-seven entries later, our Justin Timberlake contest has mercifully ended. Congratulations to our winners, Michelle Hollywell and Sonya Barnett! They’ll each get a pair of tickets to Timberlake’s August 20 concert at the ACC.

In addition to providing a name and e-mail address, we asked submitters to rename Timberlake’s “Dick in a Box” SNL skit to any combination of Body Part (in a) Noun. While we got a lot of great entries to our challenge (most, unsurprisingly, involving genitals), some stood out above others. Here are our favourite submissions. Non sequiturs and offensiveness clearly win us over easily, and to these entrants we extend an honourable mention—and to our readers we extend our apologies in advance for any offense taken.

Frenulum in a Kitten
– Kate Dickson

Uterus in a Drawer
– Sarah Varley

Spleen in Another Spleen
– Patrick Wilkins

Hand in an Alligator
– Roxanne Ignatius

Head in a Lion
– Gilles Losier

Womb in a Dumpster
– Jenny Sampirisi

Arm in a Rottweiler
– Chrid McGregor

Cankle in a Mailbox
– Tim Singleton

Toe in a Cat
– Arianne Beauchamp

Arm in a House
– Mr Toronto (yes, that Mr. Toronto)

Gullet in a Stranglehold
– Heather Timm

Placenta in a Bag
– Adam Mohammed

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