Harlequin Auditions Average Joe Beefcakes, St. James Town Apartment A Rat's Nest, NIMGAPOG
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Harlequin Auditions Average Joe Beefcakes, St. James Town Apartment A Rat’s Nest, NIMGAPOG

Almost 200 men auditioned to be the new faces of Harlequin romance novels at a Toronto casting house on Saturday. Studies showed that Harlequin’s main readership (female in their mid-40’s) were “upset when slight, young cover models clashed with the brawny, mature heroes described within [the books themselves].” Canada’s Next Top Harlequin Cover Model, anyone? Hosted by Fabio?
Quebec began its provincial elections this morning. Who’s gonna win? Nobody knows!
CSIS has decreed that “Islamic” terrorists will now be referred to as “Islamist” terrorists, denoting political rather than religious affiliations.
The Toronto Humane Society cleared a St. James Town apartment of 250 mice and 300-400 pigeons yesterday after neighbours complained of an unearthly stank coming from the 15th floor of 275 Bleeker Street. Floor-to-ceiling cages filled the 800-square-foot apartment and large piles of pigeon excrement littered the floor. Mice were eating each other alive from not being fed. An extensive porn collection was found in addition to a biography of Beethoven. Needless to say, the 60-year-old tenant is now “deemed to be suffering from a mental illness”.
Canada is ranked last out of 30 developed nations for its early childhood education spending, “despite overwhelming evidence of how crucial the first six years of life are.” Only 0.25% of the country’s GDP is invested in early childhood education, which means there will be a greater likelihood of your child being dragged out of a pidgeon-and-porn-filled apartment in 60 years if we don’t act soon.
Old ladies and gay male stereotypes rejoice! The hit Broadway show and 2006 Tony Award winner Jersey Boys is coming to Toronto to dazzle you with the music of The Four Seasons.
If there was a contest for huge formations of solid rock, the Canadian Shield would win. Now the Nuclear Waste Management Organization wants to bury radioactive waste a kilometre down into our sedimentary friend. Well, I say not in my giant-ass piece of granite (NIMGAPOG?).
Photo courtesy of videomathtutor on Flickr.

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