It's Really Cold! And Other Exciting News Stories, But DAMN Is It Cold!
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It’s Really Cold! And Other Exciting News Stories, But DAMN Is It Cold!

371144290_36fcfdff74.jpgIt’s probably going to be enormously frigging cold for the rest of the month! Don’t expect it to climb above -20 with windchill any time soon, Torontonians! Remember to buy an extra pair of gloves and an extra bottle of whiskey to keep out the cold, and rejoice in the bitter complaining about the goddamned cold that is your birthright as a Canadian citizen!
A feud between the Natural Resources Minister and the Nuclear Safety Commission may keep Ontario from building additional nuclear reactors. Of course, the Ontario government hasn’t requested a construction permit, either. So by 2015, we’re going to really be screwed by the energy pooch.
Speaking of energy and screwed pooches, Jack Layton urges Stephen Harper to take steps to curb climate change before the federal budget. Harper responds with vague promises and promotion of the bogus Clean Air Act, which I suppose is a step up from when he was treating a promise to attend a climate change conference like that was somehow a sign of progress. Oh, wait, that was last month.
81 percent of Canadians support the idea of Canada being a bilingual country. This figure jumps to 98 percent among young men aged 17-22, most likely because speaking French is the easiest way to score with American girls while you are on vacation.
It turns out those Hollywood claims that Canada is the heart and soul of Internet movie piracy are mostly crap. Wait, the Motion Picture Association of America would provide information that’s less than true? I may faint with disbelief that such a hallowed organization would behave in such an uncouth manner.
Finally, the Indianapolis Colts win the Super Bowl. (I include this particular news item only very grudgingly because of its obvious newsworthiness – I hate American football. I would sooner bite off my own arm than watch another Super Bowl game. Well, somebody’s arm, anyway.)
Photo by PDPhtography from the Torontoist Flickr Pool.

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