Blocking Satellite Beams in Style
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Blocking Satellite Beams in Style

Forget what “they” told you about the dearth of cheap tinfoil at Dollarama. The truth is much more insidious: now in its third year, is hosting a contest to judge the most innovative mind-control-beam deflecting apparatuses in the city. Hey, who says paranoia has to dampen creativity?
Hostess Cynthia Gould is pleasantly surprised at the success of this and other parties. “The funkless philosophy began when I told a few people about my crazy ideas for parties,” she says. “Instead of asking if I was on crack, they all said, ‘Where? When? I want this to happen!'”
A big part of the “funkless philosophy” revolves around creating parties that aren’t just artsy and fun, but are also free of people wearing heavy perfumes and other chemical scents.
“All events are fragrance-free because I am severely allergic to chemical fragrances,” Cynthia explains. “15% of the population have asthma and other respiratory problems. It’s nice to have just a few evenings a year where we can all breathe freely.”
Think you’ve got what it takes to twist humble tinfoil into a work of head-hugging art? Previous Tinfoil Hat Contests have produced metallic sculptures of Darth Vader, dragons, trees, antlers, aliens, and elaborate suits of armour, among many other creations. This year’s event takes place on Saturday, March 3 at The Renaissance Cafe, 1938 Danforth Avenue. Doors open at 7:30, sculpting starts at 8:00, and judging starts at 9:30. All hats must be created at the event, not before. For full contest rules and details, click here.
After the contest, music will be provided by Tomboyfriend. The wearing of tinfoil hats for the duration of the show is encouraged. After all, you don’t want Major League Baseball to know what brand of beer you’ve been drinking, do you?
Photo by Brian Tao of