Our title this week of course refers to Catch and Release, a film which has been so endlessly trailered on TV (and we don’t even watch that much) that Torontoist feels like we could recite the whole bloody film right now. “The man I was going to marry is dead! I’m sitting wearing my wedding dress and moping – it’s a girl thing! Kevin Smith is fat and talentless, but friends with Ben Affleck so he can be in this! I’ve fallen in love with you now, sexy and stereotypical unshaven male lead! The End!”
Is that about right? Now’s Glenn Sumi joins us in being incredibly bitchy about a film that looks so depressingly targeted (and without soul) that it makes us want to catch Jennifer Garner in a big net and release her into the ocean. By which we mean “drown her.”
Anyway, enough faintly misogynistic threats of violence! But, then again, speaking of violence, misogyny and Ben Affleck brings us to Smokin’ Aces, a film that has similarly been trailered like crazy. Torontoist has actually seen this, though, as it was given a bit of a late press screening, and here’s what we say. All the journalists that have given it one star out of whatever (we’re lookin’ at you, Adam Nayman, Peter Howell , Barett Hooper, loads more, probably) can shut up. Yeah, you heard us. Shut it. Because it’s not that bad. It’s not great, but it’s okay! The performances are good (We have a massive boy-crush on Jason Bateman, even with huge cold sores on his face) even people who naturally make us retch (Ryan Reynolds and Ben Affleck, who was originally going to be in that big net with Jennifer Garner as a kind of two for one deal, but we’ll let him live now) and even if the plot is a horrible mess it’s oddly thrilling (we put that down to the score from Clint Mansell. We love that guy.) So, don’t listen to the critics this time, people. Other than us. You can always trust good old uncle Torontoist.
So we spent rather a lot of time on those two, so let’s flick through the rest of the releases at high speed so we can get to the indies (which we always like more anyway.) There’s Blood and Chocolate (or “Werewolves, if they were written by someone pretending to be Anne Rice”) Epic Movie (Surely Jennifer Coolidge is better than this? Even Kal Penn must be!) And Mount Pleasant. Eye’s Adam Nayman, who we like and trust even if he’s let us down this week, the poor fellow, says “portions of the script smell vaguely of Haggis” and he’s sadly not talking about Burns Night (which was last night, fact fans, and Torontoist filled up on delicious, delicious haggis, neeps and tatties. But we digress.) So that’s probably a good reason to give this a miss – he did like it in the end, though.
So! Indies. The Bloor is showing Matthew Barney’s Drawing Restraint 9 thanks to The Power Plant, The Images Festival and Celluloid Dreams on Wednesday at 7pm. We actually saw it at TIFF 2005 (it seems so long ago!) And it never gets better than the very beginning scored with a track sung by Will Oldham. That bit is worth seeing! So walk out after 5 minutes, maybe.
Cinematheque hits hard with Canada’s Top Ten this week; lots of the films are very, very good; those that aren’t sold out that are worth seeing include Sur La Trace D’Igor Rizzi on Wednesday at 8:45pm, and there’s also Trailer Park Boys: The Movie tonight at 9pm if you’ve missed it. They’re still showing the works of Shohei Imamura, too, which are well worth checking out.