Black in More Trouble, TTC Has Growth Trouble, It's All About Trouble Today
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Black in More Trouble, TTC Has Growth Trouble, It’s All About Trouble Today

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New allegations of insider trading involving a Toronto asset management firm leveled against Conrad Black. At this rate, in about two years it will turn out that Conrad Black’s entire financial career was actually illegal.
A Missouri mother is desperately trying to keep her daughter from moving to Toronto to marry a serial bigamist. The real story here is that you should click on the link and look at this guy. He is 70 years old and looks like a less sexy version of Wilford Brimley and he’s pulling chicks nearly half his age. What is his secret? Because believe me, there are not enough roofies in the whole world to impair judgement that much.
The TTC is having trouble dealing with explosive growth. One issue: not enough trainees for new bus driver positions. One solution: dress Adam Giambrone like Uncle Sam and do posters of him pointing that say “I WANT YOU FOR TTC DRIVER.”
Peter MacKay says Canada does not back Pakistan’s plan to protect their Afghanistani border by laying land mines. Of course, MacKay then pointed out that we’re open to other options, none of which Pakistan will use, because they’re just going to lay the land mines anyway.
A drug-resistant bacterial “superbug” that’s already an epidemic in the United States is not listed by the Ontario Ministry of Health as a reportable infectious disease. The bacteria creates extremely painful pus-filled oozing sores in previously open wounds. This is thus the best kind of medical news: the really, really gross kind.
Finally, David Miller denies that there is a “culture of secrecy” at City Hall. And then he said some other things but those are classified, and also REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED with an orang-utan and REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED, much like the French do.
Image via the Sydney Morning Herald archives.

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