Apparently The Only Thing Anybody Can Confirm Today Is That Soccer Fans Really Like David Beckham; In Other News, Pope Catholic
Torontoist has been acquired by Daily Hive Toronto - Your City. Now. Click here to learn more.

Torontoist

6 Comments

news

Apparently The Only Thing Anybody Can Confirm Today Is That Soccer Fans Really Like David Beckham; In Other News, Pope Catholic

dbeckham.jpgLots of Toronto fans are very enthusiastic that David Beckham is going to play for the Los Angeles Galaxy. Toronto FC reported an immediate increase in ticket sales for the one guaranteed visit by the Galaxy. Wow, this is just like when Pele joined the New York Cosmos! Soccer is here to stay in North America!
Terrorists fire a rocket at the American embassy in Athens early Friday morning. As is standard with stories of this sort, nobody knows anything yet, although apparently nobody has been hurt and the first people to take credit for it were a non-Muslim leftist revolutionary sect. Exciting!
Details are currently extremely sketchy regarding an individual arrested in Middleton on several charges of possession of explosives and weapons. However, we definitely know it was a nineteen-year-old guy, and that the RCMP and CSIS are not yet involved. Thrilling!
Elsewhere in very detail-light news, Toronto police shoot a man in the stomach near Danforth and Victoria Park. Shoot-tastic!
Britain’s problematic surplus of doctors is a boon for Canada. Because we need doctors and they got doctors! Of course the article fails to mention that there’s this other country whose name rhymes with “the Munited Shmates” that also needs doctors and who will likely be able to pay more than we will for said doctors (thanks to a broken healthcare system that simply pays more for everything), which is problematic for us.
Finally, to compensate for all the lack of detail in today’s other news stories, the Leafs beat the Sabres 4-2. Goals were scored by Kubina, Steen and O’Neill (twice) for the Leafs, and Vanek and Drury for the Sabres, and Toronto led on penalties by nine to seven. Remember, kids: sports stories always have tons of details!
Image via Time Magazine archives.

Comments