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TIFF 2006: The First Annual Torontoist Film Festival Awards
Yes, you thought it was all over and you’d finally get some peace and not have to think about the film festival again for another whole year, but we’re back with one final post, our hotly anticipated Torontoist awards for the best, worst, and weirdest of the festival (as you know, we weren’t that impressed with the official selections.) The ceremony was held last night in a location so secret that not even we turned up, but we finally found the location today and opened all the envelopes unceremoniously. Please feel free to add your own awards in the comments.
Worst Movie That People Think is Cute for Some Stupid Reason
Penelope
(Voted for by an international jury consisting of: David Topping)
The “Intentionally Bad Movie That Was Unintentionally Worse” Award
Trapped Ashes
(Voted for by an international jury consisting of: Marc Lostracco [“and I agree completely” – Ed.])
Best National Anthem Sung Directly Into an Anus
PJ DeBoy, Shortbus
(Voted for by an international jury consisting of: Marc Lostracco)
Most Pins on a Cowboy Hat
Dusty Cohl, co-founder of the festival
(Voted for by an international jury consisting of: Karen Whaley)
Least Pretentious Celebrity
Joan Collins [“really?” – Ed.]
(Voted for by an international jury consisting of: Karen Whaley)
[“The rest are all me, because no one else had an opinion.” – Ed.]
Film Review Most Recommended by our Readers for No Discernable Reason
King and the Clown [“A Korean voting block?” – Ed.]
Best Object to Annoy Everyone Else in the Cinema and Ruin the Atmosphere of Films at Key Moments
The Blackberry
Best Cinematography, Even if it’s of the Most Disgusting Things
Taxidermia
Most Deserving of Respect but Will Probably Never Get Any
The Volunteers
Best Short Film
The Saddest Boy in the World
The “Maybe Next Year” Award
A talented design agency that can design a poster that actually means something; seriously guys, what’s up with the pasty white dude with the flaming eyebrows
Best Films of the Festival
Reprise, This is England, S&Man [“we couldn’t choose just one.” – Ed.]
And finally,
Something We Should All Remember
There’s more to the Toronto International Film Festival Group; they also run Cinematheque Ontario, Film Circuit, Sprockets, and loads more. We might all be sick of films by now, but the upcoming Cinematheque Ontario season is really ace. Terry Gilliam introducing Brazil?
Sold!