Film Friday: Crank Calling
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Film Friday: Crank Calling

2006_09_01_crank.jpgWell, not even a week until the Film Festival is left, and frankly, Torontoist is ever so slightly… No, scratch that, we’re utterly crapping our pants over the enormity of trying to cover the world’s largest film festival. We’re only little!
Both Eye and Now have already started their festival buzz machines, um, buzzing – Now have taken the choice of starting their capsule review stuffed film fest preview a week in advance (we guess to get the jump on everyone else) which does make us wonder if they’re just going to repeat themselves next Thursday. Eye haven’t gone as far, though, with one long glowing piece on the deeply Toronto (or to be specific, deeply Parkdale) Monkey Warfare, and a piece on the other Canadian contenders. We’ll have our own things to say about Monkey Warfare in our festival preview, but we do have one thing to say to Eye about its main feature – please, Eye. Stop doing these features that are interviews but inexplicably have a star rating out of five at the top. They don’t make any sense as reviews, as good as they are as interviews.
Of course, there are films released this week which aren’t anything to do with TIFF, and we have to gasp in amazement at the flowing hyperbole Now’s Andrew Dowler chucks at Crank, the latest film to star Jason Statham as a big burly action hero who punches people, drives cars fast and looks angry – But this time he has to, as he’s got to ensure he’s all pumped up on adrenaline or he’ll DIE. “This is flat out the greatest hard action movie since Die Hard … Crank wastes not a frame … a near-perfect premise” are only some of the praise flung with a wild, adrenaline fuelled abandon, our favourite probably the head scratching “a visual style that correlates closely with Hunter S. Thompson’s Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas.”
There’s also The Quiet, a thriller starring Camilla Belle and Elisha Cuthbert that is thankfully given a kicking by John Harkness to balance out the world. “Every actor seems to be heavily sedated and then sunk in a pool of viscous fluid that the director then bathed in blue light” he quips. Should John ever be allowed to see a film he likes, lest we lose his sardonic wit?
This week there’s still a few other festivals chancing their arm before the behemoth hits – The Ashkenaz Festival, a celebration of Yiddish culture at the Harbourfront Centre (235 Queens Quay W.) And the Rebelfest International Film Festival starts on Wednesday the 6th and runs until the 10th at the Innis Town Hall, 2 Sussex.