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Wanted: Water
It’s hot. We conducted a survey on people’s reaction to the heat. A number of folks made comments such as “this fucking heat is fucking unbearable. fuck.” Very few people made remarks such as “the humidex reading of 45 degress Celcius is like a dream come true.” The ratio of heat haters to heat lovers is 9:1.
Having a bottle of water at all times is essential to prevent any passing out. Having one when drinking alcoholic beverages is especially important to prevent passing out. Having them confiscated at bars/events/rock shows is a nuisance. Beware bringing your water bottle to Lee’s Palace since the bouncers take pleasure in confiscating them.
Torontoist headed to Lee’s Palace to see a rock show (Sunset Rubdown…an excellent choice for a rock show). Upon having our bags searched, the bouncer attempted to take our bottles. Argument ensued. Our hands were clenched around the innocent bottles. The bouncer yanked them from our hands. We were annoyed, tipsy, and thirsty. Inside the venue, we stood by the pitchers of water and teeny-tiny plastic cups at the bar. The water was refreshing and we soon realized the danger of putting full cups in our bags. Thus, we remained stationed by the water station for easy access to refills. We reminisced about the convenience of bottles. Since holding a bottle of beer in one hand and a cup of water in the other hand is too difficult for the tipsy and clumsy, we set our cups down at the bar and complained to people who we hardly know. We got the sympathy from fellow Spencer Krug fans as they made comments such as:
“That’s not cool. You’re gonna need that [water bottle] to walk around.”
and
“They’re really cracking down on shit here.”
The moral of the story: it could be wise to invest in a hands-free hydration system such as the Platypus. On second thought, spending money on a hands-free hydration system is just a ridiculous idea we had contemplated when in a state of heat exhaustion and delirium.