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Tall Poppy Interview: Dwayne and Charles, Jokers, Relationship Sounding Boards, Founders/Editors of e-closure.com
Torontoist thinks love letters are a little too schmaltzy and saccharine for our taste, give us a good breakup letter any day of the week. So we were thrilled when someone tipped us off to e-closure. These local boys solicited a bunch of breakup letters last summer and have added 48 different breakups on their site. They’re always looking for more and will keep things anonymous if you’re worried about any future partners finding out just how big of a jerk you were the last time you dumped someone. Torontoist had an entertaining e-mail interview with Dwayne and Charles about their site, relationships and world domination.
How did e-closure get started? Was there a breakup behind it?
Dwayne : e-closure got started in on a warm day in August 2005 after both of us had been dumped on the exact same day by the exact same girl. Ok that’s a lie. We’d both been traumatized by relationships and thought people might benefit from reading our breakup letters which may also entice them to send us their own.
Charles: e-closure could not have been possible without the internet… So, you could say that e-closure got started with Al Gore and his wife, Tipper.
Why did you decide to start it?
Dwayne: I’m an avid collector. When I was younger I collected stamps, when I was a teenager I collected porno, now that I’m older I like collecting breakup letters.
Charles: I used to collect STDs, but now I just settle for DVDs. As for the site, we basically decided to start it because we were bored and wanted to entertain ourselves…. It’s the same reason that chubby goth kids from the suburbs start Marilyn Manson cover bands.
Schadenfreude is a word that comes up A LOT in relation to the site, how do you feel about this?
Dwayne: I suppose there are worse words that could come up A LOT. I agree with it to a point, but I don’t think everyone takes pleasure in the letters. Some get all depressed and cry which isn’t always pleasurable, unless you’re watching Titanic.
Charles: Sigmund Freud was obsessed with his penis, and wanted everyone else to be obsessed with his penis. I fail to see how he’s related to the site at all.
Have either of you gleaned any particular relationship insights from running the site and going through so many letters?
Dwayne: I’ve learned that couples who are 50 years old can have the same problems as couples that are 14. Everyone’s in an endless chase to find another person that wants the exact same thing as they do and it rarely works out.
Charles: I’ve learned that nobody is above sad ranting. If anything, it seems that the “sad ranting phase” is crucial for getting over heartbreak. I think the next time I break up with someone, I’m gonna spend a year or two in the sad ranting phase.
Do you have any particular favourite letters? Anything weird or just plain crazy in them?
Dwayne: The first one (Steve + Cindy) is still my favourite because it is plain crazy and weird. I read it every morning when I wake up, maybe that’s why I’m suicidal.
Charles: My favourite letter is the Nancy Drew + Mr. Jet Fuel letter that we posted and got asked to take down because Nancy Drew couldn’t handle the heat. It taught me that some people think they’re over it, when they are still so very under it. [ed. note: booo, Charles you’re such a tease!]
Are there any ways to make break-ups less, uhm, traumatic?
Dwayne: Probably.
Charles: Ha! What Dwayne said. Break-ups would be a lot less traumatic if people didn’t take themselves so seriously. Unfortunately, the chances of people (including myself) lightening up when it comes to matters of the heart are pretty slim.
What are your plans for E-Closure? An E-Closure Book perhaps? The E-Closure Podcast?
Dwayne: Your big picture is nice but for now it’d be nice to just keep getting letters so we can keep our little pet project alive. Ok, I lied again, I want a private jet.
Charles: Two words: E-CLOSURE – THE MOVIE. (seriously, call us Miramax.)
Thanks all
Dwayne: Thanks Ron, I had fun.
Charles: ooo wee ooo, a doo ron ron ron, a doo ron ron.