Happy New Year, film fans! Or, perhaps, not. For we’ve slammed like so much booze filled new year vomit upon the tarmac of the post-Christmas lull, in which basically nothing of interest is released in any format. Certainly this week fans of more high brow cinema will have to hang on like those last few drips of chunky bile saliva for Cinematheque Ontario’s winter programme, starting on January 13th, which we’ll probably talk about then, and which features yet more Mikio Naruse, but lots of other exciting stuff like a limited run of The Passenger, the
long lost hidden by Jack Nicholson flick.
Low-brow cinema fans! Come on in!
This week’s big new release is Quentin Tarantino’s Hostel, or at least that’s what televisual advertising would have you believe. We’re sure the film’s director, Eli Roth, is probably in slightly two minds about this – on one mind, “Awesome, people will go and see my film” on the other “but they’ll think it’s by Quentin Tarantino if they’re dumb.” He may also add “but if they’re smart they’ll see all I’ve done is rip off Takashi Miike and Park Chan-Wook, adding some boobs and a very obvious subtext.”
Having already seen it at this year’s Toronto Film Festival, Torontoist can reveal the film is entertaining, certainly better than the Saw flicks, but it’s nowhere near the horrific best of the Asian masters. Certainly some of the special effects are a bit shonky.
So instead, why not submit yourself to the mind numbing, bone chilling horror of a new Happy Madison production? Grandma’s Boy, the intended vehicle to slingshot long time Adam Sandler second stringer Allen Covert to megastardom (maybe) plays an recently evicted video games tester (Sounds good, the kids are down with that) who has to go and live with his grandma (okay, hilarity might ensue, let’s keep going) played by Everybody Loves Raymond’s Doris Roberts (oh sweet Mary mother of Jesus no) and he has to fight off the advances of her horny octogenarian housemates (please place a gun in our mouth).
To be honest, it looks better than the Deuce Bigalow sequel, and we have an unusual soft spot for the dumbest of the dumb comedies, so it could be worth a shot… Couldn’t it?
Well, if you can’t bring yourself to try either of those, outside of the multiplex, Doc soup Presents A State of Mind, on Wed 11th at the Bloor Cinema, 506 Bloor West, which the blurb referrers to as “a revealing look at the lives and beliefs of the citizens of one of the world’s only remaining communist dictatorships, North Korea, A State of Mind captures the experiences of two young gymnasts, Pak Hyon Sun and Kim Song Yun, as they prepare for the 2003 Mass Games, an enormous spectacle paying homage to North Korean leader Kim Jong Il.”
We all know that guy totally sucks, so hilarity is bound to ensue!