Crispin Hellion Weekend
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Crispin Hellion Weekend

We didn’t actually spend the weekend with Crispin Glover (we didn’t buy him breakfast or anything), but it got pretty close.
On Saturday, Torontoist was creeping around Rue-Morgue’s Festival of Fear in hopes of catching CG for a one-on-one. Instead, we got a front row seat at his ‘Intimate and Interactive.’ Our hopes of questioning Glover regarding hate-on for Jaws director Steven Speilberg was dashed by a combination of fawning questions (“You’ve played some interesting roles. Can you talk a little bit about them?”) and Glover’s longwinded responses. He did mention the new Beowolf film, in which he works with one-time enemy Robert Zemeckis.
Torontoist found Glover a misfit at the Festival, given he didn’t do much with soft-core pre-pubescent anime, spooky creature horror films or the Star Wars series. While it would be unfair to generalize his body of work as fitting into any one genre, Torontoist can say with some certainty that Glover was out of his element among Jar Jar Binks costumes and an Elijah Wood appearance.
Besides Crispin Glover, interesting adventures at the Festival of Fear included buying a Rex Libris (the vigilante librarian) comic book and watching a man dressed as a ghoul stuff his face with a hotdog. We also saw several Sailor Moon-slash-fantasy nymph girls and their very underage unmentionables.
On Sunday, at the special screening of What Is It?, Torontoist had his eyes peeled for a local celebrity to boldface, but only ran into sluggish Torontoist blogger J Kelly. Sure he’s nice to look at, but a bit of the disappointment in the boldface department.
The evening started with a fairly sizable tech headache, as the screen didn’t work for the book reading and slide show presentation. Though only lasting 11 minutes, this was clearly a bummer since Glover’s mysterious introduction was totally fudged. One positive note to the malfunction: When Glover’s Apple Power Book was finally reconnected to the screen, the audience was able to peek at his cluttered desktop – which included an Ebay item and a MP3 file titled “Steven Speilberg VS. Woody Allen.”
It’d be difficult to articulate the film in blog-form, suffice to say it was completely unreal. Unreeeall. (Quickly though – the narrative involves a man with a snail obsession and racist inner thoughts, who is trying to go home. And then Crispin Glover says, “Time for the puppet show.”)
And once again, after the unreal What Is It? was over, Torontoist was drowned in a chorus of bad questions (“Are you going to do TV?”) and over-long but nicely worded answers. La de da.
On a strange, almost explicitly Lynchian level, we talked briefly to a beautiful blonde woman wandering aimlessly around the cinema. Later, by chance, we observed her checking storefront doors along Bloor Street, eventually coming to an unlocked entrance at Tim Horton’s. Even stranger was that while watching this woman, Crispin Glover all but stepped on our toes as he walked by. “Hey that’s him!” a cohort blurted as enthusiastic applause broke out. And with that last glimpse of the man who was McFly, Torontoist’s weekend with Crispin Glover came to an end…