Revelations from the Book of John
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Revelations from the Book of John

In this month’s extra-juicy edition of Toronto Life, John MacFarlane continues his winning streak of breaking down the barriers of this city’s WASP-laced preconceptions by launching a monthly Toronto Poll, in the mould of George Gallup. Indeed, Macfarlane admits, ‘the media love polls, because polls allow them to make news instead of merely reporting it.’ Sounds good to us. John, assume soapbox-position!

This month’s T-Life revelation comes from yet another arbitrary and patently useless study of 500 random GTA residents. It turns out that the cataclysmic rift between 905ers and 416ers (‘a social divide so notorious that even people in B.C. know about it’) is really non-existent. We’re not sure if anyone else but T-Life really thinks of the city-dwelling population at large as ‘liberal, New Age latte imbibers’- you might want to leave the St. Joseph Media building before you declare that, guys. But in any event, the poll indicates that both PMS (Pickering, Markham, Scarborough, natch) and Metro Toronto folks are predictably sympathetic characters when it comes to homeless people. 67% of 416ers and 70% of 905ers are opposed to forcibly removing the homeless from public places, and about the same percentages wouldn’t be opposed to having a homeless shelter built in their neighbourhood.
What’s more, the magazine also features a story on the disturbing recent phenomenon of venerable churches being converted into lofts and otherwise commercial enterprises (and who hasn’t fantasized of turning St. Paul’s cathedral into their personal romp room?). The only place where new churches continue to be built, in fact, is in the suburbs. Those looking to save themselves and lead a decent life, line up for the GO Train.