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A Conversation that Never Happened
Tree Advocate Joey Pants: Um, chief, I see here that you have just declared April 30th Trees Across Toronto Day.
MDM: Indeed I have, Deputy Shortpants.
Joey Pants: Well, as Tree Advocate, sir, I think this is an excellent idea, doubling the city tree canopy from 18% to, er, ah, whatever double that is. Indeed, I commend your choice of locations, your go get ’em attitude, your brilliant hair, sir, but, well, don’t you think I might have made the announcement, as Official Spokesperson of Shrubbery, and Grand Master of Greenery?
MDM: (Picks up broom, begins sweeping Joey to the door) Pants, this isn’t about you! It’s about the trees! Don’t you know that “urban forests help clean the air and reduce storm water run-off, they also increase the property values and make the city more desirable to tourists and investors.”
Pants: Of course sir.
MDM: Well, then, lets get out there and make some photo-op magic. This is one arbitrarily-named day I can really get behind.
Pants: Okay, fine, but please don’t stand in front of me in all the pictures this time.
MDM: I would never!