Schumacher Leads His Most Important Race

By Adrian the Adorable Sports Writer

Not to be left out of our collective goodwill, athletes across the world have rushed help with aid to the tsunami-devastated regions of southern Asia. Following the lead of many tennis and soccer stars, the “Biggest Private Donation Ever” was submitted by F1 champion Michael Schumacher during a German telethon Tuesday evening. The Ferrari driver has pledged US$10 million to his country’s world-leading effort.
The NBA, with the contribution of Raptor guard Jalen Rose, is currently making a relief push of their own. With many franchises having already collected donations from their crowds during home games, it is now the players turn to contribute. Seven NBA stars, including Rose, will be dropping US$1, 000 for every point they score in their respective games this weekend – with the highest total being matched by player agent Arn Tellem. Let’s just hope Sam Mitchell can work Rose into the game at some point.
Other players participating include ex-Raptor Tracy McGrady, Indiana Pacer forward Jermaine O’Neal and four others. J.O. was recently re-instated thanks to a shortened suspension from his fight with Detroit Piston fans this past November. If he can match his 55 points against the Bucks last night, he will be cutting quite the cheque. (O’Neal, however, will NOT be making any donations to the obese hooligan he dummied during the ruckus in Auburn Hills in Detroit.)
As for the NHL, Torontoist wonders if Bob Goodenow has even discussed donations with his player reps yet.