The match making business will never be the same after gay marriage is introduced into Canadian culture. When the capital “L” liberals vote to change the definition of marriage from the union of a man and woman to the union of two people, the definition of match making will change with it.
Will Chuck Guité and John Gomery get together? Could Chris Murphy of Sloan and George Stroumboulopoulos be an item? Torontoist columnists Paige and Adrian the Adorable make some suggestions as to who is right for who in a same-sex dating game. All proposed hook-ups depend on who is TWI (Totally With It) and who is not.
I think that Canada better get on this gay marriage thing soon, because even The OC has jumped on the lesbian relationship bandwagon. Which, given, is something The OC does all the time- swooping in on a trend and then taking all the credit for bringing it to the masses. So maybe the following couples should hook up, because not only would the CRTC approve, but it would put Canada back on track for bringing equal rights to same sex couples.
Kevin Smith and Joey Jeremiah
Yes, I know the CRTC already said Smith couldn’t write an episode of Degrassi: The Next Generation because it would go against CanCon regulations, but I doubt they could do anything to prevent Degrassi’s biggest fan from finally hooking up with Joey. Maybe Mr. Raditch would even have to pull the two into his office for a very special three-way detention. Imagine the ratings!
Zack Warner and Jacob Hoggard
If you followed last summer’s Canadian Idol as obsessively as I did, you would have noticed the flirtatious undertones between third-place Jacob and snarky record producer-cum-judge Zack. Not only did Zack comment many times that he loved Jacob, but even my mom though Jacob’s girlfriend was just a beard. Right now it’s that time of year when the Idol runner-ups start launching their second-place careers, so I think Jacob should use his “connection” to Zack in more ways than one.
Jennifer Hollet and Kim D’Eon
The two would start off by bonding over their mutual friend, ex-Much VJ and current The Hour host George Stroumboulopoulos. Then soon they would find that they had much more in common. Like red hair, and a love for Canadian pop culture. Much Music could even produce a racy music video of the two!
Ralph Klein and Stephen Harper
Okay, pairing them up is a little obvious. But think of all the hot “I hate myself for what I am and I hate you for making me that way” sex they could have!
Margaret Atwood and Bell Canada’s Emily
Now that Margaret Atwood has decided that interacting with her fans through a computer screen is better than signing autographs in real life, I can only assume she’d be just as eager to have a digital
relationship. She and Emily, Bell Canada’s new automated service representative, could engage in predictive-discussions and flirtations all from the comfort of their own homes or hard drives.
Adrian the Adorable Sports Writer
Belinda Stronach and Anne Coulter
This is a no-brainer. Both of these blondes together make conservatism hot again! Or they could just go out and discuss all the “liberal lies” over a Starbucks coffee.
Denzil Minan-Wong and Michael Moore
Despite however opposed in values, not even the Conservative councilor could refuse an oiled-up Greco-roman wrestling match with a big husky guy like Moore. Perhaps Moore can think of a kinky way to repay Wong and like conservatives for making his career. We’re thinking S&M here…that guy’s an animal!
Donald Trump and Josh Duhamel
With the Donald’s love for hot, young, model slash actors, what better fit than the star of the movie “Win a Date with Tad Hamilton” and TV’s “Las Vegas.” Torontoist is holding a spinoff contest of Duhamel’s movie entitled “Win a Date with Adrian.” The charming sports writer has an extra ticket to this Sunday’s Canadian Opera Company performance. And he likes opera?? Talk about perfect boyfriend material.
Ex-Raptors Vince Carter and Tracy McGrady
Whether it was during their time together in Toronto or south Florida, were sure these two cousins have seen a lot of shower time together. This incestual relationship is seen as a perfect match, as the often-upset superstars will be able to cry on each others shoulder.
Sheila Copps and Judy Sgro
Why not try it? Both have the “I worked with Paul Martin”-thing going. They can discuss it over a hot cheese and sausage pizza.
(Keep in mind these are merely suggestions, Torontoist is not making judgments as to anyone’s sexual preference.)