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Sometimes you just need to get Laide
**Warning: due to the sexually explicit nature of this post and this place, Torontoist does not endorse taking ones children or prudish friends here, unless for purely educational and nutritional purposes. Diner discretion is advised.**
To really GET Laide, you have to embrace the fact that this lounge will satisfy you sensually, rather than physically. Well, they’ll take care of your senses; the rest is up to you.
A few doors west of Jarvis on Adelaide, Laide Lounge may look innocent, but Torontoist assures you it is not. This has got to be Toronto’s most sexually overt, erotic and naughty restaurant.
Once you’re in, this lush spot immediately accosts you with its naughty intentions, as the foyer is lined with life-sized nude plaster reliefs you can’t help but grope. If you’re blushing then, leave, ’cause it only gets better. Laide could exist as a lounge only, but is most remarkable because of the combination of unique ambiance and extraordinary cuisine.
Enticing visual touches of erotica are everywhere. There’s instructive kama sutra posters here, a floor-to-ceiling stripper pole there, veiled, bed-like alcoves with cushions along the lounge’s perimeter, and…wait for it… PORN. As in vintage porn projected in its black and white glory on a large wall, for everyone to see.
Yes, this is why Laide needs an anti-prude disclaimer. But then again, the food is more scandalous than the porn, it’s THAT good.
Laide’s is a small menu offering a changing menu of tapas tasters. But don’t let the size of the list or the dish faze you. No dish is more than 18 dollars, and while the bill can certainly add up of you succomb to the lavish temptations and try it ALL, the prices are great considering the culinary genius of Laide’s chef Sam Gassira.
The winter menu lists mouth-watering dishes like the Onion Gallette with Quebec goat cheese and honey-dressed apple that melts in your mouth. The Braised Veal Osso Buco with sage and cremini mushroom gravy is amazing, and the Broiled tiger prawns with salsa fresca is so great it may just change your life.
With a plate of steamed mussels in softened leek and sambuca cream in front of you and one of Laide’s tall drink classics like Pure Ecstacy (a deadly mix of vodka, absinth, champagne and a sugar cube), it suddenly seems reasonable that a person could claim a great meal is better than sex.
But if you can’t bare the thought of food so delicious that every meal after will pale in comparison (big statement, but true), the extensive cocktail menu and wine list makes Laide worth visiting just for a drink and a peek inside the erotic and lovely lounge.
Before you step up to ride the stripper pole, stand at the lavish bar under the bedazzled chandelier and throw back one of the generous martinis or champagne cocktails like the Forbidden Fruit martini (tanqueray 10, lime juice and fresh raspberries), Nymphomaniac (spiced rum, peach shnapps and Malibu) or Intimacy (vodka, champagne, cranberry juice and a sugar cube).
Or if you can’t lure someone into one of the private little booths complete with curtains and cushions, Laide’s small but delectable dessert menu offers a chocolate mousse that’ll have you moaning louder than the old-school porn stars on the wall.
So good it’s sinful, the staff at Laide Lounge have succeeded in creating a true dining and lounging experience.
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Laide Lounge
138 Adelaide E
416-850-2726