Results tagged “yankees”

If you're like us (and, God willing, you’re not), then you're utterly exasperated by the ongoing steroid scandal in Major League Baseball. You're puzzled that the United States Congress has nothing better to do than to interrogate multimillionaire athletes who might've used performance-enhancing drugs. Moreover, you're wondering why, this past Wednesday morning, no fewer than three Canadian sports networks were showing live coverage of the Roger Clemens hearing. Is it really that important?

Stephen Harper pledges $40 million to polar research. Forty million dollars? That will buy an entire research station! By 2015, we will have turned drowned polar bears into a renewable energy source!

City to designate laneway "Ben Kerr Lane." It is predicted that the laneway will become the center of Toronto's booming hot sauce scene.

Farmer finds life ring believed to be from the Edmund Fitzgerald. In response, the Tragically Hip grumble about having to rewrite one of their songs.

Taking a page from David Miller's Big Book of Intergovernmental Panhandling, Dalton McGuinty is complaining that Ontario is going to need a hot cash injection from the Feds if we're going to get those manufacturing jobs back from Bangladesh. Q: What do you get when you have an NDP mayor, a Liberal Premier, and a Tory Prime Minister? A: If you pay taxes in Toronto, pretty much nothing!

Kids think that food in a McDonald's wrapper tastes better than the same food not in the wrapper, study shows. This study confirms what many of us have long believed: namely, that children are stupid.

Some book about wizards goes on sale tonight at midnight. Sadly, the media is completely ignoring this potential phenomenon in favour of stories about Hairspray, but that is only fair because clearly Hairspray is the great cultural touchstone of our time, much more so than some piddling book about a boy wizard who sucks. In ten years time, we will all remember the day we first saw Hairspray; that's all Torontoist is saying.

Donald Trump's Toronto hotel will only be 57 storeys, rather than 70. Experts explain that this is because Donald Trump's penis is smaller than previously believed. (Extra hilarity from The Donald's spokesperson: "The more residents we had, the more the elevators were going to be used and that wasn't what we wanted in an exclusive building like the Trump." Yes. Pity the poor, poor elevators. You have to know that Donald Trump worries about the elevators greatly.)

Sam the Record Man is closing its Yonge Street store on June 30. Remember when Sam's was the only place you could get a cassette of The Lowest of the Low's Shakespeare My Butt? Remember cassettes?

We're guessing most of you are hungover from St. Patrick's Day. Some of us are too. But still, we're going to muddle on through our green haze and give you (drum roll please...) this Week In -ists.

With Torontoist's past two "sports" entries being titled "Toronto Bike Posts Both Strong and Vulnerable" and "We've Got a Thing 'bout The Post-and-Ring" (the first installment of the two-part series on our city's bike posts), the Adorable Sports Writer feels like it's time to re-capture the floor.

The last time the Toronto Blue Jays touched post-season turf Jean Chretien was two days away from his first Majority Government, Aerosmith's Get a Grip was Billboard's #1 album and the Adorable Sports Writer was likely sporting an undershave. Sadly it's been one partially locked-out and ten full seasons since Joe Carter hit one of baseball's most memorable home runs. However during that span, some pretty decent teams have filled the Skydome/Rogers Centre's home dugout. Four Cy-Young's have been awarded to Jays pitching and Carlos Delgado was robbed of an MVP trophy in 2003. Unfortunately that's life in the American League East, where competition has consisted of All-World New York Yankee lineups and extremely strong Boston Red Sox teams.

With the signing of AJ Burnett (pictured with Florida singer Brandy Rich) and BJ Ryan, the Toronto Blue Jays will pay $102 million to two pitchers who use letters as first names. (No offense to Torontoist blogger JK Nestruck.) Letters they want, letters they'll get. Here's the ABC's of the Jay's off-season thus far:

The Blue Jays are playing their Grapefruit League home finale against the Philadelphia Phillies today. Opening Day starter and former Cy-Young award-winner Roy Halladay will take the mound in this 1993 World Series re-match.

What's the connection between the freckle-faced, gangly figure at far left and the vicious thug beside him?

There was a fair share of drama in the sporting world yesterday: