If you're like us (and, God willing, you’re not), then you're utterly exasperated by the ongoing steroid scandal in Major League Baseball. You're puzzled that the United States Congress has nothing better to do than to interrogate multimillionaire athletes who might've used performance-enhancing drugs. Moreover, you're wondering why, this past Wednesday morning, no fewer than three Canadian sports networks were showing live coverage of the Roger Clemens hearing. Is it really that important? Regardless,......

Stephen Harper pledges $40 million to polar research. Forty million dollars? That will buy an entire research station! By 2015, we will have turned drowned polar bears into a renewable energy source! Electioneering party leaders promise to get tough on street racing. Most impressive: Howard Hampton's promise to bring back photo radar. Yes, Howard. That will get the NDP lots of votes. Peter Mackay calls Liberal MP's trip to Afghanistan a "stunt." However, when......

City to designate laneway "Ben Kerr Lane." It is predicted that the laneway will become the center of Toronto's booming hot sauce scene. Howard Hampton promises to roll back MPP pay hikes and to raise the minimum wage to $10/hour. Good thing Hampton hasn't actually published an economic plan yet. I mean, there's only less than a month until the next election, wouldn't want to tip your hand too early... Economics researcher links higher gas......

Farmer finds life ring believed to be from the Edmund Fitzgerald. In response, the Tragically Hip grumble about having to rewrite one of their songs. An in-depth report on whether we should demonetize the penny. Short answer: yes, we should demonetize the penny, even though it looks very pretty in its own way and can be used to scam Europeans. David Miller will announce the full list of service cuts either today or tomorrow. A......

Taking a page from David Miller's Big Book of Intergovernmental Panhandling, Dalton McGuinty is complaining that Ontario is going to need a hot cash injection from the Feds if we're going to get those manufacturing jobs back from Bangladesh. Q: What do you get when you have an NDP mayor, a Liberal Premier, and a Tory Prime Minister? A: If you pay taxes in Toronto, pretty much nothing! In related "news," New York Governor......

Kids think that food in a McDonald's wrapper tastes better than the same food not in the wrapper, study shows. This study confirms what many of us have long believed: namely, that children are stupid. Reason #6147 Toronto is better than Montreal: our gonorrhea rate isn't exploding upwards. The article even points out that Montreal gonorrhea is tougher and more antibiotic-resistant than Toronto gonorrhea—that's how bad their gonorrhea problem is! Former SCTV actor Tony Rosato......

Some book about wizards goes on sale tonight at midnight. Sadly, the media is completely ignoring this potential phenomenon in favour of stories about Hairspray, but that is only fair because clearly Hairspray is the great cultural touchstone of our time, much more so than some piddling book about a boy wizard who sucks. In ten years time, we will all remember the day we first saw Hairspray; that's all Torontoist is saying. The TTC......

Donald Trump's Toronto hotel will only be 57 storeys, rather than 70. Experts explain that this is because Donald Trump's penis is smaller than previously believed. (Extra hilarity from The Donald's spokesperson: "The more residents we had, the more the elevators were going to be used and that wasn't what we wanted in an exclusive building like the Trump." Yes. Pity the poor, poor elevators. You have to know that Donald Trump worries about the......

Sam the Record Man is closing its Yonge Street store on June 30. Remember when Sam's was the only place you could get a cassette of The Lowest of the Low's Shakespeare My Butt? Remember cassettes? Two high profile cases got their day in court yesterday. Wing-Piao Dumani Ross and Alexander Ryazanov, pleaded guilty to dangerous driving causing the 2006 death of cabbie Tahir Khan. The pair were sentenced to house arrest for a year,......

The nicer the weather gets, the busier we get across the Ist-A-Verse. But we like being busy. Here's a peek at what we've been up to since last week! Chicagoist had an interview with Audrey Niffenegger, whose popular book, The Time Traveler's Wife, was based in their fine city. They also had a heated discussion about Rush Limbaugh's controversial Barack Obama parody, talked about whether Uncle Julio's Hacienda is a good place to get......

There's so much going on across the Ist-a-Verse that it's almost impossible to keep track these days. Fortunately, we do it so you don't have to! Londonist took a walk through Oliver Twist's London, thanks to a gorgeous map layer for Google Earth. They also caught up with modern-day fictional London, with the Fantastic Four and 28 Weeks Later. It was a week of insanity over at DCist. They started the week off with......

We're guessing most of you are hungover from St. Patrick's Day. Some of us are too. But still, we're going to muddle on through our green haze and give you (drum roll please...) this Week In -ists. We start with SFist which broke the -ist record for comments with nearly 500 comments on a post about our Mayor's girlfriend. She responded back on charges that she's not a "girl's girl" and, whoo boy-- the......

With Torontoist's past two "sports" entries being titled "Toronto Bike Posts Both Strong and Vulnerable" and "We've Got a Thing 'bout The Post-and-Ring" (the first installment of the two-part series on our city's bike posts), the Adorable Sports Writer feels like it's time to re-capture the floor. And what better time for a comeback. Whether good or bad, not one of our city's pro teams has been without its fair share of headlines over the......

The last time the Toronto Blue Jays touched post-season turf Jean Chretien was two days away from his first Majority Government, Aerosmith's Get a Grip was Billboard's #1 album and the Adorable Sports Writer was likely sporting an undershave. Sadly it's been one partially locked-out and ten full seasons since Joe Carter hit one of baseball's most memorable home runs. However during that span, some pretty decent teams have filled the Skydome/Rogers Centre's home dugout.......

With the signing of AJ Burnett (pictured with Florida singer Brandy Rich) and BJ Ryan, the Toronto Blue Jays will pay $102 million to two pitchers who use letters as first names. (No offense to Torontoist blogger JK Nestruck.) Letters they want, letters they'll get. Here's the ABC's of the Jay's off-season thus far: A - Bobby Abreu, a Phillies slug-meister the Jays have been interested in. B - BJ Ryan, the second BJ on......

The Blue Jays are playing their Grapefruit League home finale against the Philadelphia Phillies today. Opening Day starter and former Cy-Young award-winner Roy Halladay will take the mound in this 1993 World Series re-match. With their season beginning in Tampa Bay this upcoming Monday, there are various questions regarding the Jays in 05. Of utmost importance to their fortunes this year is the needed return of both Halladay and outfielder Vernon Wells to their 2003......

What's the connection between the freckle-faced, gangly figure at far left and the vicious thug beside him? One is that they're both baseball players. The other is that they're actually the same person. The kid is Jason Giambi, freshly drafted by the Oakland Athletics of the American League. The absurd Michelin Man-apparent is Jason Giambi, disgraced first baseman for the New York Yankees. Giambi is on record, leaked from the proceedings of a California......

There was a fair share of drama in the sporting world yesterday: The Philadelphia Eagles announced that Superstar Wide Receiver Terrell Owens is likely out for the season with a fractured fibula - drastically altering many prognosticators playoff expectations. Tracy McGrady and Yao Ming combined for 74 points to spoil the Williams’ Toronto Raptor debuts. Vince Carter spoke out about his trade to New Jersey, his time spent in Toronto, and the what-ifs during that......