Results tagged “whitehouse”

In the most important news story of the day, two people have been arrested in the mysterious case of Huckleberry, the dog who vanished from outside a Yonge Street bakery and was returned after his owner offered a $15,000 reward. Police haven't said whether they believe Huckleberry was in on the caper.

So, things are rapidly going to hell in Pakistan. Somewhere between one and two thousand people have been "detained" (i.e., dragged away) since Saturday and all private television stations shut down and the country is about ninety percent of the way to pure chaos, which, given that they have nuclear weapons, is bad. Of course, the White House managed to find the good in the situation, namely that Iraq could be as bad as Pakistan.

The Stephen Harper government unveiled its plan for the country in the Throne Speech last night, emphasizing the usual panoply of tax-cuttin', crime fightin', environment dismissin' Conservative virtues. Jack Layton and Gilles Duceppe have already stated they will not support the government, while Liberal leader Stéphane Dion will decide whether to force an election after consulting with his caucus. Dion is envied by the other opposition leaders for his massive caucus.

Environment Canada reports that this has been the driest summer in fifty years for Toronto, with the city only receiving around half of its usual rainfall. Short-term predictions suggest that fall will be equally dry, with the the long-range forecast calling for global warming followed by drought, famine, plague and societal collapse. Sounds like great picnic weather!

Benny Hinn arrives in Toronto this weekend. True story: when I was a kid I used to look in the TV listings, see the listing for "Benny Hinn," and wonder why the TV guide was misspelling "Benny Hill." (Da da da DEE DEE da da da da, da da da da da da da da, da da DEE DEE da daaaaaa.)

Rachel is only nine years old, but she dreams of becoming a manicurist since she can preach the Word of God to a captive listener. Levi, twelve, was born-again at age five because he claims he needed more out of life. Ten year-old Tory likes Christian hard rock, but warns, "when I dance, I really have to make sure that's God because people will notice when I'm just dancing for the flesh."

There's a whole wide world out there, and here's the proof:

"In what way? More sensational? More violent?" he was asked by an incredulous knot of student journalists. At which point a tear gas canister landed nearby and he dashed for cover, thereby avoiding the need to clarify.