Results tagged “hillaryclinton”

The Maple Leaf Foods meat recall has been extended to encompass more than 200 products made by the Toronto facility, and is expected to cost upwards of $20 million. In completely unrelated news, millions of Canadians have decided that maybe they're just going to have a salad for lunch today.

Stephen Harper's Conservatives are running ads on the radio and at some gas pumps asserting that a proposed Liberal carbon tax is a "trick" and a tax grab. Firing back, Liberal Environment critic David McGuinty said that the Tories are in the pocket of the oil industry. No need to to fight, people; no doubt you're both right.

It suddenly gets hot today with a forecast high temperature of 32º, meaning newspapers are required by law to run daily photos of people frolicking in fountains. Sprinklers are also acceptable, provided a dog is included in the shot.

Dalton McGuinty wants Fiat to build its new North American factory here in Ontario. McGuinty emphasized Ontario's history of auto manufacturing, and also the province's sheer desperation to replace thousands of lost jobs from the American Big Three automakers gradually collapsing. McGuinty then said, "No, seriously, we'll do anything to get the plant. AN-Y-THING." Then he winked.

Barack Obama inched closer to the Democratic Presidential nomination last night, winning North Carolina pretty decisively and holding Hillary Clinton's victory in Indiana to a near-tie. Pundits and prognosticators alike agreed that at long last, Hillary Clinton's chances of winning the nomination were almost totally nonexistent, now that America has finally come to terms with the fact that Barack Obama is black, y'all, he's black, y'all, he's blackety-blackety-black, y'all.

Hillary Clinton has won the Pennsylvania primary. The Clinton campaign remains alive after a ten-point win in the state, thus proving that a campaign currently in debt can win if it runs enough negative attacks and limps along to the next contest. This is also known as the "limping zombie" theory of electoral campaigning.

Each week, Torontoist examines the upcoming TV listings and makes note of programs that are entertaining, informative, and of quality. Or, alternately, none of those. The result: Televisualist.

Toronto principal in controversial controversy over explicit poems he wrote and posted to his website. This is of course the first recorded case ever of somebody getting in trouble for something they wrote on the Internet, and the scandal has sent shock waves through the online community. "Wait, somebody actually this shit?" said Patrick Metzger. "Dammit, I better re-emphasize that my erotic snuff story about Geri Halliwell is purely a work of fiction!"

New glass recycling program will save local municipalities millions of dollars. It turns out that you can turn used glass into other things than smaller bits of broken glass!

TTC "U-pass" close to passing for students, possibly also hotel workers. If the scheme passes, the TTC will suddenly be crowded once again, rendering all those recent fleet upgrades essentially moot. Hooray for public transit!

Barack Obama thumps Hillary Clinton in last night's primaries. Obama for the first time won the majority of Latino voters, the majority of women voters, and the majority of senior citizen voters, while broadening his support in the demographics he was already winning. On the bright side for Hillary, she did manage to win the vote of nearly 87 percent of the voters who thought she was more qualified to be President than Obama. On the Republican side, John McCain won all his primaries, then told us that Barack Obama is a young whippersnapper selling false hope, and that grownups know that despair is the only rational response to the world.

Extreme cold alert! Be forewarned that this extreme cold is not extreme in the sense of "it is totally radical like Doritos and Mountain Dew," but rather extreme in the sense of "it can kill you if you stay out in it too long." Environment Canada will discuss the prospects of the extreme cold's effect on totally shredding slopes with your snowboard later today.

Kennedy Station will remain closed today, at least for the morning. So, if you live in Scarborough, enjoy those shuttle buses.

Hey, did you know it's snowing? School buses have already been cancelled for today, meaning that children will romp and play in the streets and sabotage snowplow drivers and Chevy Chase will duel with a rival meteorologist for some reason and the mayor will declare it to be the "funnest day ever."

Chalk River reactor's risk level was 1,000 times greater than normal. However, Stephen Harper is a certified nuclear engineer, so if he says it's safe, then shouldn't we trust him? Wait, what? He's not a certified nuclear engineer? Well, dang.

J. K. Rowling to come to Toronto on her reading tour. It's her only Canadian stop, so expect an audience that is 30 percent younger readers and 70 percent aging, obsessive fanboys and fangirls, most desperately wanting an explanation as to why Sirius Black and Remus Lupin were not revealed to be secret gay lovers.

Over the past month, Hillary Clinton has been on the hunt for a campaign song, with her "exploratory committee" website inviting her followers to vote on a winner. Finalists included born-and-bred American bands like U2 and Shania Twain, as well as tried-and-true musical legends like Smash Mouth. This morning, however, the winner was announced. And Hilary Clinton's 2008 campaign song is...that Céline Dion song from that Air Canada commercial! It's such a good song it didn't even need to be on the ballot to win!

It seems that Bob Rae is the Liberal candidate most likely to get Ontarians to vote for him. However, he is also the Liberal candidate most likely to get Ontarians to vote him. Thus, Bob Rae is the Canadian version of Hillary Clinton. You heard it here first, people!