If you’re like us (and, God willing, you’re not), then you’re utterly exasperated by the ongoing steroid scandal in Major League Baseball. You’re puzzled that the United States Congress has nothing better to do than to interrogate multimillionaire athletes who might’ve used performance-enhancing drugs. Moreover, you’re wondering why, this past Wednesday morning, no fewer than [...]

Stephen Harper pledges $40 million to polar research. Forty million dollars? That will buy an entire research station! By 2015, we will have turned drowned polar bears into a renewable energy source! Electioneering party leaders promise to get tough on street racing. Most impressive: Howard Hampton’s promise to bring back photo radar. Yes, Howard. That [...]

City to designate laneway “Ben Kerr Lane.” It is predicted that the laneway will become the center of Toronto’s booming hot sauce scene. Howard Hampton promises to roll back MPP pay hikes and to raise the minimum wage to $10/hour. Good thing Hampton hasn’t actually published an economic plan yet. I mean, there’s only less [...]

Farmer finds life ring believed to be from the Edmund Fitzgerald. In response, the Tragically Hip grumble about having to rewrite one of their songs. An in-depth report on whether we should demonetize the penny. Short answer: yes, we should demonetize the penny, even though it looks very pretty in its own way and can [...]

Taking a page from David Miller’s Big Book of Intergovernmental Panhandling, Dalton McGuinty is complaining that Ontario is going to need a hot cash injection from the Feds if we’re going to get those manufacturing jobs back from Bangladesh. Q: What do you get when you have an NDP mayor, a Liberal Premier, and a [...]

Kids think that food in a McDonald’s wrapper tastes better than the same food not in the wrapper, study shows. This study confirms what many of us have long believed: namely, that children are stupid. Reason #6147 Toronto is better than Montreal: our gonorrhea rate isn’t exploding upwards. The article even points out that Montreal [...]

Some book about wizards goes on sale tonight at midnight. Sadly, the media is completely ignoring this potential phenomenon in favour of stories about Hairspray, but that is only fair because clearly Hairspray is the great cultural touchstone of our time, much more so than some piddling book about a boy wizard who sucks. In [...]

Donald Trump’s Toronto hotel will only be 57 storeys, rather than 70. Experts explain that this is because Donald Trump’s penis is smaller than previously believed. (Extra hilarity from The Donald’s spokesperson: “The more residents we had, the more the elevators were going to be used and that wasn’t what we wanted in an exclusive [...]

Sam the Record Man is closing its Yonge Street store on June 30. Remember when Sam’s was the only place you could get a cassette of The Lowest of the Low‘s Shakespeare My Butt? Remember cassettes? Two high profile cases got their day in court yesterday. Wing-Piao Dumani Ross and Alexander Ryazanov, pleaded guilty to [...]

The nicer the weather gets, the busier we get across the Ist-A-Verse. But we like being busy. Here’s a peek at what we’ve been up to since last week! Chicagoist had an interview with Audrey Niffenegger, whose popular book, The Time Traveler’s Wife, was based in their fine city. They also had a heated discussion [...]

There’s so much going on across the Ist-a-Verse that it’s almost impossible to keep track these days. Fortunately, we do it so you don’t have to! Londonist took a walk through Oliver Twist’s London, thanks to a gorgeous map layer for Google Earth. They also caught up with modern-day fictional London, with the Fantastic Four [...]

We’re guessing most of you are hungover from St. Patrick’s Day. Some of us are too. But still, we’re going to muddle on through our green haze and give you (drum roll please…) this Week In -ists. We start with SFist which broke the -ist record for comments with nearly 500 comments on a post [...]