It’s acclaimed, it’s award-winning, it’s drenched in blood, and it isn’t modern art. It’s Pakistan’s first gore film and it’s freaking out the squares in Toronto this week. Hell’s Ground (Zibahkhana in Urdu) is June’s selection for Rue Morgue Magazine‘s Cinemacabre series. The monthly event, held on the third Thursday of the month at the [...]

Federal finance minister Jim Flaherty emphasized that today’s budget will be “frugal” in anticipation of an economic slowdown in the coming year. To demonstrate the concept in symbolic terms, Flaherty had an old pair of shoes resoled instead of buying the pair of new shoes traditionally associated with budgets. Flaherty also announced that he’s saving [...]

TTC “U-pass” close to passing for students, possibly also hotel workers. If the scheme passes, the TTC will suddenly be crowded once again, rendering all those recent fleet upgrades essentially moot. Hooray for public transit! Jack Layton calls for Family Day to be named a national holiday. He then asked for a pony and all [...]

Today we celebrate Ontario’s first ever Family Day. Banks and government offices are closed, but many malls and stores are open for last-minute Family Day shopping. As reported by the Sun, the Fraser Institute released its 2008 rankings of Ontario elementary schools, with most schools in the GTA faring reasonably well. If you have stupid [...]

The annual Polar Bear Dip is a success, raising $59,000 for World Vision Canada. This follows Toronto’s proud tradition of really, really bloody stupid stunts for charity, like the Great Canadian Tack-Eating Contest of 1958 and the Who Needs A Parachute? First Canadian Place Jump-Off of 1971. Oscar Peterson memorial concert to be held next [...]

Happy New Year! Thousands of GTA-ians jammed Nathan Phillips Square to watch CIty TV’s tiny perfect anchorman Gord Martineau host his 75th New Year’s bash. Thousands more did not. Toronto also rang in the new year with another snowstorm, which is expected to continue all day and inflict up to 10 cm of inconvenience on [...]

Canada wins the Spengler Cup. If you are like us, your first reaction to this news was, “What the hell is the Spengler Cup?” It very probably has nothing to do with famed Ghostbuster Egon Spengler (played by great expat Canadian Harold Ramis), so it can’t be that good. Give us a moment while we [...]

Former Pakistani PM Benazir Bhutto was assassinated yesterday in a bloody suicide attack that killled at least 20 other other people. Anyone thinking that this news isn’t sufficiently Toronto-centric should hope that the destabilization of this nuclear-armed extremist-incubator state doesn’t have much direct impact on Toronto, because if it does it’s likely to be in [...]

Toronto declares first cold alert of the winter season. John Baird immediately points out how the existence of cold weather might mean that we’re all wrong about global warming. Report calls for expansion of Ontario’s small claims court system. Many lawyers were interviewed about their opinion on the best way to increase access to justice [...]

City Council considers removing the downspout removal subsidy. This news item brought to you by The Council For Reminding You That Municipal Politics Are Often Incredibly Dull Even If They’re Necessary. (The group promises to come up with a better, catchier acronym as soon as possible.) RCMP to review Taser policy after the death of [...]

Ontario’s conservation officer suggests the unbanning of clotheslines. Did anybody even know that clotheslines were banned in certain parts of Ontario? Why would anybody ban a clothesline anyway? Clothes flapping in the wind are aesthetically pleasing! Pakistani police detain Benazir Bhutto in her home. Officials denied that this was a house arrest, claiming instead that [...]

The Canadian Centre for Policy Alternatives has announced that the rich pay the lowest tax rates of all income groups. Heather Reisman, Jim Balsillie, and everyone who lives on the Bridle Path celebrated this by heating their gigantic mansions with a fireplace full of money and cackling. Maniacally. Dalton McGuinty is adding to economic fear-mongering by claiming that the rising loonie is hurting Ontario’s economy and that interest rates should be lowered. Meanwhile on...